Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Lights, camera, action!

I have been thinking today. Our lives is like a live scripted play. Or a tv series. Full of changes, twists, expansion and it keeps you on your toes for what will follow.

But have you ever felt that you are an extra or a body double in your own script? That the script is just linear and you  simply follow it around and play no real role? That is so interesting.

I certainly felt like this until i moved to Sweden. My life was scripted and linear. Go to school, stay with that boring girl from Thessaloniki, go to the dog park, back home, eat, finish university for no reason, go to the army, help in the family business without having any say in all this.

When i finally realized how stagnant and boring my life had been i decided it is time for a change. But how do you do that when you are just an extra? You know what? You are the writer, you are the main focus of your own script, or you should be at least. And this is an ongoing process so what should you do?

It's fairly simple, even though harder to execute. I wrote myself into a new storyline. This time it was different, this time it was mine. I am done chasing my tail. Embrace change.

Today i went to the International Students Office here in Olofsgatan 10A. If you live in Uppsala and you need information about Erasmus or scholarships pay them a visit Monday-Friday 09:30-12:00 and 16:00-18:00. They were essentially the same people from the swedish seminar yesterday and they were pretty helpful. They answered all my questions in detail and now i am sitting happy with a 99% complete application to finally move to Turku in September. Yay! See, its like a spin off of my script! I want to write a new chapter!

On the way back the bus was full and there was a cute young lady with her baby on a carrier and she smiled and made space for an incoming man with his baby. Or so we both thought. As it turns out the man had filled his carriage with supermarket products and bags and during one turn it slipped to the door and everything crashed down. There was also a very old man that looked at me with a strange look i guess because of my loud music, but then i caught him staring at the butts of young girls.

I also feel a little of an outcast in one of my new classes. I don't know why again. I just don't feel like i want to get to know people and they don't want to know more about me. I tried to talk to some of the people from my group but after a few phrases its like they want to run away or i run out of topics and i can't/don't want to think of any.

Regarding to the events of friendship, i am pretty happy and i sleep well at night. Riding the bus home though i was thinking that i should have known the storm was coming when the clouds are big and black. And you know what? In the end i may as well let the rain come down and enjoy the circus of people.

You can sense sometimes when something is changing or you know when people can help you but they just don't fucking want to. I am sick of chasing, as i said, this is my time to shine and i will make the most out of it. I will set myself ablaze and i will take off like a shinning star, writing my own spectacular script, the way i want to, with the people i want to. And i have enough of them.

I like this one very much.
Along that bombshell, have a good day Sweden!

Update: Have you ever got so angry that you started saying things you don't mean? Or you made that racist joke just because your friend laughs at them? Do you always ignore warnings and take everything 100% seriously? Do you consider social skills a woman shitting in the forest in front of everyone in Sweden? Deal with it and take everything with a grain of salt.

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