Thursday, January 1, 2015

Adventures of the Kid

The Kid woke up.

He was sweaty and tired, trying to understand what was real and what was not. He had a very vivid dream he could not escape from. A black void with a distant light that was beyond reach. He looked around, searching with his hands blindly in the darkness, trying to find his glasses.

He grabbed them finally above his head, they were strategically placed on the hand holder. When he wakes up he always feels what a terrible burden bad eyesight is. It is a curse, maybe a blessing in disguise too sometimes, not to see the abominal things that people do to each other and animals every day.

He regained his composure, then he wiped the window with his right arm. It was cold, he felt the ice on the window penetrating his bones, reaching into his soul. But he forgot all about it in a split second. For he was about to witness things few people in the world will. He would see worlds you could not possibly imagine, dream or draw, worlds of such beauty and exotic that you would have to be in a barren moon in the other side of the galaxy.

There was snow everywhere, sparkling into the darkness like a tiny million stars, engulfing everything in a white veil. Trees as high as mountains, little wooden houses hand built in the middle of a white snowy plain. The arctic circle before his very eyes. He would be engrossed in this majestic sight for over a week and felt so alive as never before.

The Kid was never frightened. Because he looked around and he saw people he liked, that made him happy and made him forget all his problems. He looked on his left and he saw the Fox sleeping in an uncomfortable position, like an S letter. He giggled inside and he grabbed her legs and stretched them on his lap. She let a shriek of comfort.

He looked on his left again. He saw the Joulu Koira. The Dog of Christmas. For most of the trip she was nervous, looking left and right with a constant gaze that oozed with nervousness and uncomfortableness. The Kid touched her and tried to comfort her. She was shaking. Poor thing. The Kid squeezed himself in the corner even more, trying to make as much space for the Fox and the Dog. He was uncomfortable, as he was never able to sleep in a moving vehicle. But he was rewarded with the warmest look from the Dog, like she appreciated his move and cuddle into a furry round ball to sleep.
He then turned his sight on the middle row. On the left, the Squirrel was sleeping. She was Fox's twin sister so sleeping was normal for them. In the middle slept the little sister of the pack, the Camel. And on the right Groot. A tall, slim man with a deep voice. He could easily be converting people into believing him with that voice for sure. He was also Squirrel's boyfriend.

In the driving seat there was the Beer. Dad actually never drank any alcohol and he spoke little to no English. Yet most of the times he told the Kid: "Kid! Beer!". Next to him was Aiti. Mom was quiet most of the times, except when they were all playing cards. The Kid already misses her cooking.

The Kid looked at his iPad. They begun their journey around 4am and it was barely 11:00. He spent the first hours playing silly games, listening to music and radio stations, hugging the dog and pretending to sleep. He needed to stretch his legs so bad.

And his wish came true. A gas station with green colors and a warm place, in the middle of nowhere, completely covered in snow.

A place to rest.
The kid took a moment to stretch his legs and arms. He helped the Fox and the Dog get out. They jumped like little children, a little sleepy and drowsy. And then they opened the trunk to unleash the hounds of hell. Red-bull, the Belgian Malinois and the Black Queen, the Belgian Shepherd. Red-bull was so energetic running around like it was the end of the world, while the Queen walked patiently and with class, as she was an older veteran.

Then the Kid forgot all the distractions and gasped at his surroundings. White snow turning the earth into an icy palace, all the way until the woods far away. All the family then proceeded to the building in order to drink and eat.

The Kid decided to buy nothing and went in the bathroom to empty his bladder. Oh the relief. They sat down in a big table large enough to fit 7 people. The Beer said something towards the Kid in Finnish. The Squirrel translated it for him.

"In this family you always have to eat", she told him.

The Kid wondered what that meant. But he would soon discover this.

They set on their way again into the endless straight highway. There were about 7 hours left on that road trip. The Kid spent his time playing and watching the Avengers for the 10th time. He played some more games. He listened to the entire GTA IV radio stations. He watched the others play a weird game with Finnish names. He listened to Camel and Groot laughing as hard as they could playing a weird football game where small people jumped around like Robin van Dolphin.

Occasionally the Fox woke up to drink some Pepsi or play Binding of Isaac. The Kid always loved to hear her play, because she made ridiculously funny commentary in English that reminded him of himself.


The Kid felt a whole week had passed in that car. The sky was already pitch black but they were so close. The radio was on the whole time, playing traditional Christmas Finnish songs. He saw a sign saying Kittila and Levi. He was fueled by curiosity, trying to guess how would the cottage would look like.

They entered the town. Dad pulled off in a local supermarket. They would visit it so many times. The Kid went inside and it was like a stampede. All 6 members of the family spread, divide and conquer at its finest. The Kid was wondering what was this sorcery, as they kept throwing things inside the baskets and the cart. They were going to war. For the cheese a whole cow must have been milked. For the 12 bottles of Pepsi and Coke either a secret deal was made or a pact with the Devil. Meat, vegetables, candies, enough to last a generation, or 2 days with a Finnish family. He did not forget those 24 cans of beer either.

Were they going to a war bunker? Were they going to live underground hidden from humanity and social contact? The Kid was about to be surprised in a very pleasant way. They entered slowly a small snowy road with huge buildings, each with each own garage, snowmobiles, stairs and all kinds of luxuries. Just a few meters away the carriers for skiers that led to the top of the slope. Wow. The Kid was staggered. The adventure had just begun.

Next to Levin Rolli.
Goodnight Sweden.

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