Thursday, November 20, 2014

How NOT to get scammed - and have fun in the process

Today we are going to perform public service. 

I am talking to you, Forever Aloners that are so easily tricked through the exterior of a woman so you give your life's work for some satisfaction that ends up in misery, pain and money bleeding from your pockets.

I was supposed to write about having dinner with Jaime's family yesterday that was a farcical comedy (in a great way, we had an amazing time!) and that will have to wait.

Here we are today, Thursday 20th of November 2014 and i am sitting on the couch like liquid paint listening to some music and watching a blonde girl dying in the couch next to me from tiredness. I was talking to my dear friend Mary around 10:43 waiting for the hydrochemistry lecture @ 13:15.

I fire up my tablet and i see that i received a message from a "Jennifer Anderson". Pretty good looking, the kind of woman that anno 2014 doesn't initiate conversation to men as she can just snap her fingers and 2 people will start blowing air to her paint her nails and cook her food. Let's call our sweet girl Jen for convenience shall we?

So let's skip the introduction which involves those generic "hi" and get to the meat. Jen is 22, lives in Stockholm, is from Quebec, has a degree of a fashionista from Calgary and has a swedish name and she talked to me first. Wow, this looks perfectly normal, i must be really hot!

So Jen is pretty happy with me asking questions only and asks me why i don't add her as friend in facebook. Moving on, we have already established  that something illogical is going on. So to fish Jen out we need to first create rapport and pretend to hook on the bait. The key here is to simply reply the way you would as if this was a real situation. While you do that you look for clues that contradict her origins. For example in this pic you can see the way she talks like a 12 year old child while also asking for permission to ask questions. Women don't talk like this. Therefore as usual we are dealing with a man. Let's call him Dick!

After some chitchat Dick is bored and has to step it up. So out of the blue Dick turns to be a Bikini Porn model! Fantastic, the average chump will think! Wake up you moron, snap back to reality they are probably outsourced in India or Pakistan, called Al muhammad Safir Mastour and they want your money. So let's waste their time and trick them in the end. Pretend you are joking, that you like them and want to meet, joking that everything is alright unless they want your money or kill you. That will force Dick to go defensive and make mistakes.

"I am not gonna ask money to you".

Yes Dick, i know you will not ask me to money you. Also they always have great incomes, such as professional footballers. It's a needy way to prove value, the same way men try to conquer women by saying they have money and a boat. Dick is not here for bullshit right?

Here i try to set up an invitation for a meeting. Dick is clueless and tries to conjure up phrases in English while under the effect of magic mushrooms. Oh he also has a dog, Spudgy, that i think he will have to cook for dinner soon since with his understanding of how women talk and his level of English, he won't scam anyone soon. So here we set up our final step and we are ready to go for the killing blow.

Wow Dick is really stepping on it! Let's recap. Dick pretends to be Jen, is from Canada, talks like an uneducated mongol, lives in Sweden, has a dog, is a porn bikini model and he likes me! Wow i must be very special! WAKE UP  YOU IDIOTS BEFORE I CHASE YOU AND HIT YOU WITH A CLUB ON THE HEAD.

So his sentences are becoming canned and really unpolished. You can see that where he "explains" things. Just try to look at this logically. A bikini porn model wants to meet with you but you need a Special ID from her sponsor because she feels unsafe and she almost got raped. You mongrels, tell her to bring a friend then, does any of this makes sense to you? If you fall for this you deserve punishment and eternal damnation.

I sadly forgot to take a picture of my last answer, but i remember what it was. It contains foul and racial abuse for the purpose of intimidation, i don't really mean it.

"So here's the thing. For a scam to work you need to work on your English. That can be taught, even if you are a dirty banana throwing monkey like yourself. You dirty mongrel though, there is no way you can pass for a woman, even a brainless blonde model with the way you talk and reply. Get ready to eat Spudgy (if you havent already) because you are not scamming anyone's money soon with those skills. All this time you wasted i have been tracking your IP down and sent it to the cybercriminal department. So run, because if they find you they will put you down like the animal you are and let you die in a fire. If they don't i will find you and i will crack your skull open and fill it in with monkey shit while Holger does the windmill in your spine. Run."

And this concludes our friendly lesson for today. This blog is deteriorating like the Premier League and it will probably go viral at some point.

What is more sad is the fact that there are countless people falling for these scams. Amazing what the need for female company can do to a mans brain, if he has one. Someone said that men have 2 brains but enough blood for only one to work in the same time. How true.

I will be back soon with details from Randomville and dinner extraordinaire with Jaime and his amazing family.

Goodnight Sweden. 


  1. Mastour?? Really??? That send me rolling on the floor, seriously. And it's not about brains, but heads. Men have two heads, but only enough blood for one of them to function. But anyway, I liked your post as always. Keep up the good work.