Saturday, November 1, 2014

Jurassic World - Helsinki

"It's 9000 miles..back to you...I still feel like home is in...your arms".

Home sweet home. Or was I already at home in Finland minun Carita?

I am back in Sweden. I just arrived this morning after a tiresome trip that involved loads of buses, sleeping on radiators and eating kanelbullars. My biological clock is disorganized totally since i slept during the day and then woke up just to eat and join a weird Halloween party for 2 hours. And i guess i want to share the other part of my adventure in Helsinki and satisfy you 4000 monthly readers that love my sarcastic tone!

Approaching home around 9 am with heavy legs and frozen hands, eyes ready to close and no real food for a day or so i found the energy to take one more picture. Every season looks to be even more beautiful in Sweden. Dress well, winter is coming.

Right outside my house..
What about Finland? Until Wednesday it involved quiet things, mostly staying inside, watching silly movies, cooking loads of different food, eating a lot of garlic bread and taking Ippu to the dog park. I like this life. I felt relaxed and not in a rush to do anything else, to go to clubs and drink until dawn. Sometimes the world needs a little old-fashioned.

Then we moved to Espoo, a fairly large area near Helsinki. It was a 1.5 hour drive and we listened to horrible music on the radio that made us want to gouge our eyes out. We stayed at her parents house since my flight was really early in the morning and the airport was about 30 minutes from there. Her parents were on vacation though and we only had the little sister in the house. Our dialogue was amazing and involved me talking about dogs and her nodding.

So we watched even more movies as i prepared for the last exciting day in Helsinki. Should i make a list of what we watched? Yea sure why not. If you are a fan of bad movies that are so bad that they are good yay!

Airplane! (1980): 10/10 They just don't make movies like these anymore. Ridiculous dialogues, epic fails, shit that hit the fan, inflatable drivers, alcoholics and idiots coupled with rotten fish. A must watch.
Bad Granpa (2013): 9/10 This made us laugh so hard sometimes that the whole building must have shook from it. Over the top farces and gags coupled with cheesy lines and ending make it a nice movie.
Shutter Island (2010): 5/10 Hmmm this movie had a decent enough concept and a lot of plot twists, but the acting was weak at some points. It seemed that they were trying too hard.
Equilibrium (2002): 3/10 A Matrix wannabe. It tackles some interesting points that were better pictured in V for Vendetta but the special effects are weak and the fighting ridiculous anno 2014.
Warrior (2011): 8.5/10 A great movie for MMA lovers and one with a strong background story regarding the importance of family, bonding and struggles.
Bruno (2009): Either 0/10 or 10/10 If you are a fun of really ridiculous movies, racist jokes, sexism, rednecks and public mayhem then this movie is for you. If not and you find that offensive...ehm better stay far far away. It does make a mockery though out of stupid concepts like gay conversion or psychics.
Jumanji (1995): 8/10 The special effects show their age but it is a pretty entertaining movie. A classic.
Jurassic Park 1 (1993): 8/10 The special effects are incredible for a movie that is 20 years old. Some of the actors were horrible and i don't think i even remember who is the lead actor. Good movie.
Jurassic Park 2 (1997): 1/10 What do you get when you have a movie with 3 of the actors i hate the most, shitty plot full of holes and a lust for money? I guess a sequel. I despise Vince Vaun, the guy that plays the dinosaur guy and Julian Moore.
Jurassic Park 3 (2001) We didn't finish that one but it was way better than the second one. Also why does every movie have to have an annoying screaming kid? Oh and that wife there, i wanted to punch her in the throat. Unknown lead actor from first film returns.

As you can see i spent my time as a family man. And i loved every second of it. And this is how the post switches direction and will be more of a photo-show again to better illustrate my day in Helsinki. I cannot show all the 300 pictures i took, but feel free to visit here, like, leave a comment or tell me to go to hell :D

I also had a try on the sauna. Being in 55 Celsius made me so sweaty and wanting to kill myself for a cold shower. I thought my contact lenses would melt into my eyes and crabs would eat my flesh and make me look. The cold shower after was priceless.

We took the scenic route as usual and took bus 165 from Espoo to Helsinki main station. The ride was pretty expensive at 5 euros per ticket for a 40 minute ride. It actually was cheaper than Uppsala-Arlanda which clocked at 60 crowns.

At a big central square.
The day was lovely. Sun and clear sky everywhere and around 10 Celsius which is great weather for Finnish standards. First we walked a bit towards the Finnish Museum of Natural History. If you visit Helsinki and not go there, i will hunt you down and force you to do it. The entry is 5 euros for students and 10 euros if you are a mongrel like me and brought no student ID.

Entrance to the museum. Big moose and giraffes.
Getting inside we paid the ticket, got ourselves a map and then the adventure started! We were greeted by a massive elephant that reminded me of the jumanji movie and we headed up the stairs. I wish i could show you all the pictures!

Do not poke the elephant. Wildboar cameo too.
Oh this paper guy too.

I really need a haircut.
The first floor was full of history stuff, from rocks and fossils to animals and the big bang. It was the next floor that i wanted to see!

They actually had live fossilized stuff in the jars.
We made our way to the top to see the finnish and global fauna and flora, a sight that was absolutely astounding. I was running around like a little boy taking pictures everywhere i could!

Getting ready to snap the pray.
A little boar family.
All my favorite animals in one building. I am so excited just to think about it!

Majestic creatures.
What, did you think there would not be snakes?
Not everything involved flesh eating beasts.
And then my favorite part. A childhood dream coming true. Dinosaurs!

I think i just jizzed in my pants.
I think i can die happy now!
A triceratops too!
Just look at the size of the megalodon!
Then there was a common finnish household that gave me the creeps.

No thank you.
We moved to a room full of skulls and bones.

These actually reminded me of the skeleton monkeys in The Mummy Returns.
Carita also decided to poke a man in the eye.

She actually tried to remove his jaw and brains.
Closing in a nice picture i took in the local fauna room.

Feeling foxy today?
Oh we are hungry so we try to GPS our way to a place called Fafa's that serves fallafel. We fail so hard and when we finally make it there it looks horrible. So we do the right thing to do in times like these and we enter a candy shop where i fill a bag with tons of tutti frutti.

We try to find a pizza place and we end up in Pizza Hut. For 11.40 i got the worlds most depressing pizza. Like really depressing. So small i wanted to dance and do the chacha in front of everyone. And the view was amazing as a van parked right next to the window. So i ate way too much candy.

Then we walked and walked around the city until the sky consumed the sun and the cold was penetrating our coats. We headed for an Irish pub and drank even more beer. That+candies=bad combo.

The most famous cathedral there.
It's time to go back. We run to catch the last train and we barely make it in. I am probably going to vomit candies, pizza and beer. But it's alright. We get the train ticket inside and everyone is looking at me like i am a maniac, since i keep laughing, smiling and having a good time. My friend has a blast as she is not used to this and we get off the train and walk back home. In every neighborhood apparently there was a murder and we made it to the playground where we sat on the swings like little kids.

Back home we ate more, drank more, watched the horrible Jurassic Park movies and we did not sleep. At all, because we were afraid we would miss the flight.

At around 4 am we started our journey to the airport. We arrived at 4:40 and my flight left at 6:55. Carita spent over an hour to keep me company and i was really worried for her safety when she drove back home. She is safe now :*

We made a mayhem in the airport, or better say, i did and she laughed at it. I just sat there in a seat playing Assassin's Creed: Pirates on my tablet and entered the airplane. Apparently it is also easy to leave Finland as you need just a boarding pass, no identification.

What is it with me, planes and strange people? The flight was good, the air hostess tried to ask me 3 euros for a bottle of water and when it was time to leave i turned around and saw the worlds most angry man glaring at something. I made a quick escape to the bus stop, where i took bus 801 back to the city center.

There i devoured 2 kanelbullars and rode bus 7 home. And then i died for 12 hours. And i am going to do the same now since i am so tired and bored.

Leave a comment, like, share and follow me through the widget in the right! We will talk soon as it is Halloween and something interesting will surely show up!

Goodnight Sweden! Goodnight my Carita!


  1. i've never been to finland

    1. Pack your bags and visit it sometime then! I am going back next month to see the northern lights and dog sled!

    2. Hej anonymous, if you go don't forget what Kostas said about the student card. You're going to need it for the National Museum :)