A state of decay

Stand up and take notice for a little bit. Look yourself in the mirror. Repeat after me:

"What are my goals in life? What is it that binds and defines me? Where do i see myself in 5-10 years and what is my purpose?"

Can you answer any of these questions? Most likely not. I was lucky to answer most of those questions early in my life however some where changing as life is a dynamic event. And here another question arises:

"Are we even remotely free?"

Countless of people around the globe would argue that we are not. What is democracy? What is freedom after all? To grow up, pay your taxes, go to school, work, work some more, retire and die? How democratic is it for people to state their opinions and let others decide what is better for you even if you are against that decision? And then they double cross you or they serve their own political agenda?

It is easy to get carried away and many of those things are most likely true. From the moment a human is conceived the sperm that fertilizes the egg effectively leads to the death of the others. Does that make us accomplishes to murder before we are even borne? We get thrown into this new world, this new age of technology and madness, where every human questions (or not) their own existance and battles for his own place in society while facing a monumental, daunting task for survival and reproduction.

In the end many of us have limitless abilities. But when you are raised poor, you self-suggest to yourself that you are destined to grow and die poor. Our subconsious is the most powerful tool we have or the most destructive one. It can lead men and women to madness, pain and eternal mental suffering. When you are faced with situations like these, such as domestic violence, poverty, war and famine it is too easy to get carried away and simply go with the flow, because this "feels normal".

Humans in such perilous situations have usually a crossroad. The first one is to stay in that endless long road like those american routes that you see in the movies that go as far as the eye can see. You live your normal life, satisfied or not with what you have, living in the routine enforced to you by your society, your family and your peers. And most of the times that life can be miserable. There are exceptions, some people love to work with their dad or the family business or they don't really have any dreams. Or maybe they do but when it is time to have a serious talk with yourself in order to achieve it they go like "nahhh i will do it another time" or "there is no way i can do it".

The other road is the one that leads somewhere. It has a start, a journey and then sometime you arrive in the fountain, the city, the clouds, have your pick. It is the one that you decide that you had enough and that you will be a man of action. That you are not the failure that your father or mother thinks you to be. That you can produce good and make a difference. Sometimes it means that you have to make sacrifices along the way but if it is your dream nobody should ever stand in your way. It is yours for a reason and you should pursue it with a burning desire. But here also lays a trap. Never forget your morals and ethics. Never cause harm to your fellow peers. Do more good than you are expected to do and more things and one day someone will recognize your good work and pay you back handsomely. The point is, because you were borne poor, you don't have to be poor for the rest of your life. Because your dad hit you and your mother you don't have to be a rapist, a murderer or a horrible father. Be the change. Do not fear them. Do not loathe them or hate them. Feel sorry for them instead.

Be a real man for a change not an asshole.

A few days ago my own father told us that he had raised up "two failures". I don't know if he meant that. I don't care if he meant that. All i know is that i have eluded the trap of taking it seriously and taking even a chunk out of my battle armor. It is so easy though. For example when you grow up as a youngling and you see your dad swearing at your mom or sister or others and physically abusing people it is engraved into your brain and DNA to behave like that. It feels "normal".

So instead of feeling that you have inherited the wrong, recessive genes embrace your DNA and your true self and let it shine. Last year i rebelled and took my life in my own hands even at the age of 26. I spread my wings. And this year i am going to take off and soar like an eagle as slowly everything clicks into gear. I will not tell you what my life plans are as i take it one step at a time.

In the meantime let me rott and die from the heatwave that amongst other things is hitting Greece like a sledgehammer right now while you enjoy your amazing rain and cold in Sweden and Finland <3

Until next time, goonight Sweden!