Friday, August 29, 2014

Oops, i Uppsala'd again

Wednesday 27 August 2014


I get startled and increasingly worried that something will ruin my perfect day. It sounded like a bomb or someone puking out his intestines.


For the love of god where is this coming from. I look around in agony. Who is trying to ruin my perfect swedish day?


It sounds closer. Doom and gloom. Oh there he is. He is actually sneezing. Can you go die in another corner please? Oh wait?! What is that?!

This looks fishy...
Let's take a closer look.

Run, the fashion police is coming!
So he is sneezing like his heart stopped for 10 seconds and he is wearing two different types, and colors, of shoes. Good job!

So it's 12:24 and i am on my trusty 7. Doors close and we start moving. "Grrrspssss". I must have heard that from 50 meters away. Weird shoe guy.

We get past sommaro and there is a bridge nearby that goes under, and i see a guy with a bike and a hat coming with loads of momentum down the hill. His hat falls down from the speed and that reveals a big bald head that was shiny like it was polished, i could see my reflection and my eyes were burning. His forehead was so big a Boeing 737 could take off from there. He luckily picked up his hat and my adventure continued.

I had planned to meet Andrea from Romania (she actually lives in Sala and is in great need of housing here so please help her. She also has a cute and obedient dog.) at 12:45 so i went to the University main building for the Welcome ceremony outside, near the statue. Cute girls passed by, then Andrea came and we finally met after months of talking.

The main building.
So we met some more people and we took some more photos, i tried to talk to Maria from Saint Petersburg but she looked disinterested so i moved on. Oh we also met a weird urban legend guy called Mattias or something. You can also spot Vasilis and Gregor behind.

Fun times. Stealing the show.
I spot my angel somewhere with a guy called Anton, who just vanished shortly after and we go inside the building. I think it was scary i knew so many people inside. The building was astonishing. More on it's history later. For now let's move around the tables with the various Nation info and see some more pictures.

Starting to get full.
And some more.

Gotlands nation had a nice ram head. On a stick.
I could spot my angel from the other side of the room without even trying. So i went up to her and told her we should take a picture with this girl.

Awww, so sweet.
I started taking pictures with everywhere, because i can. I also saw Roland and Anoud and she started like giving me challenges "talk to these people", "you are crazy", "you are a player", "take a photo with these girls". Funny i tell you. More photos incoming.

Just look at the building.
 And a view from the balcony.

People from all over the world flocking in the reception.
So i kept doing my thing and went in a boring master's students meeting about basic information, which i left shortly after. Oh a guy was so bored he was playing Texas Hold'em. On a 17 inch laptop on the ground. Because he can.

I looked for Vita so many times and each time we did something funny, like promoting some sort of bus tour to the Laplands. We were the admissions couple and when she was touching my hand or my back i felt a jolt going up my spine. Awwww so sweet. She had a scholarship meeting so i told her i will meet her after. We never saw each other again that day. I am a sad panda.

We go in the reception and the view is amazing. The building was presented as a government gift but when they finished it it was considered too luxurious so they refused to pay 2/3 of the cost. The builder paid for it. And died bankrupt and poor. But i guess he left a legacy. Tack.

Ridhima's mouth is humongous! That's Crystal and that's Jose.
 Oh i also met Madle from Estonia finally. We were supposed to live together in a caravan if we were homeless. Oh and A-nuuuuude!

My smile is contageous.
 Then i picked up a bunch of girls and told them to smile. I said "Mascarpone!" and all of them laughed! They are also Italian so it was extra belissimo! I met Cecilia, Laura and Nicoletta!

Cecilia, Laura and Nicky.
The are studying business in the Ekonomikum. Cecilia's skin is so soft and tanned and she is so cute in different circumstances i would have asked her out in a heartbeat.

Getting ready for the reception.

What an amazing architecture!

Some traditional dudes smiling with a uniform.
So the reception is fantastic. There was some royal orchestra that was off-tune, with the maestro glaring one of the violin players like all hell broke loose.
Him on the right next to dimitris!

The vice-chancellor of the University spoke, the Mayor wearing some sneakers, a girl from the student union and my favorite, the international student guide. He was a bit chubby, with a suit and a beard, really big cheeks and a red color like he drank too much red wine. He looked so boring but his voice was absorbing and mesmerizing. He was so funny. Every time he walked to talk i cheered and clap like a baboon.

"Yannis. 100% pure Colombian coffee."
 In the seats we also had King Harmeet, Kevin Falafel and many more Asians.

All hail King Harmeet. Coolest dude ever.

So Anoud tells me to meet some more girls. I talk to a cute one and she started running towards the exit. At least she would survive a caveat or a fire. I ran after her i think she felt scared. I also managed to take the picture with her friends.

Don't run away??
 More people everywhere. I only spoke to Caroline and Melissa, most of them were from the USA.

This is unreal!
We are done with the reception. I go with Cecilia and Laura, they get their bikes and we go towards Norrlands pub, Orvags Krog. Well they were strolling in their bikes, i was catching my breath because i was running. Tack.

So they lock their bikes and i meet some more people, Tobbias from Germany and Catherine from Wales. We teased her all night because she is from Great Britain, but she is actually really nice and funny and she is dressed so well. Classy. Oh she drinks cider too, like a sir.
Hey there sweetie.

We sit around a big table, were we have so much fun and see even more strange people and the waitress was actually greek. More people join us. We are like King Harmeet, General Kostas (meeee), Vasilis, Katherine, Tobbias, Cecilia, Laura, Alberto and three more Korean people.

So we are soooo hungry. I ate some sort of arabic pie but we decided we want pizza. So we went to Papa Something's pizza that nobody speaked italian, so we went instead to Pinocchio's. The owner's nose was bigger because he was also lying that the pizza was italian.

Hmmm what to get..
 We had such an amazing conversation and i was king of the house, entertaining everyone. I told them stories from the dark village and about the lumberjack with the small penis my friend was dating in the woods. Scary. Also i remember Alberto gave us a moment of fun.

"So we take a deck of cards" he says.

"A dick of cards? Wth??" i say.


"A DICK??"


"Oh a deck."

We laughed so hard and ate our pizza's. We also learned 35 ways to call someone gay in Italian. Thank you Laura. The bottom line was that the water was sh$t, while the pizza was not so sh$t.

Back to Norrlands walking along the river. We sit in the pub on a massive desk, i spot two more cute swedish girls and they take a photo of us. We are so many, Raymon joined us with two more girls, Francesca from Italy, and a million other people from Greece and Spain. Ohhhh let's not forget Phoebe from Melbourne.

To infinity, and beyond!

More weirdly dressed people walked by, including this.

Harmeet also felt strange i guess when he saw Cruela DeVil.

So i am going back home, reflecting on all this. It's 23:17 and i am entering the door. I go up and collapse on my bed after talking to my huggie buddie Kelly. I hugged the pillow and dreamed of Vita's silky touch and hair.

Goodnight Uppsala.


  1. at least now you can spell and write my name! HAHAHA