Saturday, September 10, 2016

Lights, camera, action - A night in Stockholm's finest

Hej hej!

It is your weekly dose of entertainment from Stockholm city!

But what happened during a very eventful Friday night and a lovely Saturday morning? Strap your seat-belts and prepare for a lot of satire and my amazing descriptions.

Being alone in a big city is a daunting thing. But one thing is for sure. I was not going to stay inside on a Friday night. So I wore my best smile, my best shirt, my best shoes and my best pants and managed to at least look like a very expensive waiter. I also managed to destroy my glasses somehow, but that's another story.

I had been in contact with Eleonor, a girl I met during this year's World Water Week. She has been really kind to me and I am very grateful. She told me that she might go out with friends and if they continue later I could join them. Well, I had heard that before so instead of waiting I decided to go ahead and visit The Soap Bar, a place I had been there before with my friend Silvia who used to work there.

The night was eventful before I even got to the bar. Around Ostermalmstorg in the metro station a bald guy was painting with a marker the walls and the escalators. I informed the security and they took him down. I continued my way into familiar territory as I stood outside the small line. The bouncer asked for my ID and then I went to pick up a small beer for 65 SEK. Not bad for Stockholm standards.

Then the fun began. Around 22:30 the bar was sort of full, but the real crowd began to arrive around 23-23:30. It was absolutely packed with people of all origins, backgrounds, dresscodes and behavior. There were 4 people (2 men and 2 women) that were in their 40's, looking like they were working all week non-stop and this was their only night out and chance to blow off some steam. They were dancing like crazy non-stop and it was a joy to behold, because they were genuinely having a good time. Then there were these barbie-like type of girls that did not stop taking selfies while the weird awkward guy next to them was actually catching Pokemon in the bar.

I was sitting in a dark corner enjoying my beer and gazing everyone with my watchful eye and mysterious grin. Then 3 men of Asian origin arrived and sat next to me. One looked like Mr. Miyagi from the Karate Kid and was like the quiet teacher.

The other one looked like a person from the TV series "Heroes" and the last one looked like...ehmm someone who was looking at the flowers of Robert Marplethorpe. The best thing was that all three of them were having the exact same pose, exact same beer and were bobbing their head like on Jim Carrey's Saturday Night Live spoof Night at the Roxbury (youtube that, it's  hilarious).

There was also a couple of guys that looked like Don Diego De la Vega from Zorro but with a hilarious mustache which i found very entertaining to watch. But nop, the star of the show was about to arrive.

Two blonde bombshells around 1.90 arrived and sat in close proximity. On of them was very slim, the other one was more curvy. But definitely very good looking women. So here comes this guy, no taller than 1.50 that approaches them, starts talking and waving his hands and making some dance moves straight from an LSD panorama. He actually entertained them a bit and the curvy girl actually gave him her phone (though from their signs of panic and body language, she gave him a fake). Best part was when shorty (lets call him that) actually lifted her from the waist and the poor girl left a shriek of horror.

At that point it was getting late and I would go home soon but until then I decided it was my mission to follow that guy and see what he is up to. Turns out he went outside the bar and starting talking to every woman on proximity. It was like 1.67 women/minute like an automatic machine gun. He lifted a few more up and then he went into the crowd where I lost him. Because he was too short to see. But I did manage to tell him that he is a hero and give him a brofist. Whoo-hoo!

In the meantime Eleonor called me and told me they are in Hornstull with 3 friends. I went there to meet them in a nice bar that reminded me of Greece a bit. We sat down, had some beers, enjoyed the super large queue to the bathroom and endured 2 hours of Americans hitting on my friends. In the end a tall guy from their group went behind to some really cute DTF girls and started talking to them. A blonde and a brunette. He talked to the brunette. The blonde told me that her friend desperately needs sex and she should go home with the dude. But the dude wanted the blonde. And I told the brunette. Who in turn told me that her blonde friend desperately needs sex. Still following? Well I said goodnight and they were a bit angry. It was like soap opera. I loved every minute of it.

Today I woke up really tired after returning at 4:32 am and went in the city with my new pal Victoria. We had this super awesome walk in town at the city hall where a guy dove into the water and pushed his own dog in there to swim with him. We came back and walked around Huvudsta where we played with the goats and horses before returning home. I think I am a bit tired so it is time to nap my friends!

So, chins up and remember to smile!

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