Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Love begins at 50

Strange title, strange life, strange day. As always right?!

Love begins at 50 is an interesting lighthearted book about a man approaching his 50th birthday and rediscovering love. Strangely enough, the title has nothing to do with the book, but instead is about a person I met today in the dog park of all places. We had such unique and eye-opening discussion today that I fell compelled to write about it.

Let's take it from the beginning shall we?

Beautiful little Adam.
As I was approaching the vasaparken today and was ready to enter the dog yard I noticed three things immediately. Ragnhild and Tage were there and it was lovely to see them after such a long time again. The other two were a slim, beautiful figure and one of the most beautiful cocker spaniel dogs that I have seen in my life. Adam was an orange roan english cocker spaniel that was wiggling his tail in every opportunity, running and buzzing around endlessly, moving with a verve that very few dogs have. It reminded me of my own Flicka and her vibrant, strong personality.

The other person turned out to be Martha, a Swedish woman that had been living abroad for 20 years but moved back for the past 10.

Seeing that she had a cocker spaniel I decided to talk to her about it. We started with some small talk about how I ended up naming my dog Flicka. She is the first person that I have ever met that knows where it actually came from. A movie based on a book, called "My friend Flicka (Hans vän Flicka) about a mustang horse. For me that was a sign that there is something more to this person and I intend to find out.

The conversation was steered towards relationships in Sweden and eventually her own story after moving back as a mother of 3 children, the way she raised them, advice for my friends and me and how unusual and nonexistent Swedish dating is nowadays. Martha even told me that I look a bit older, which is ok by my book since I like older women than me. But what surprised me the most about it was her honesty and no fear in expressing her thoughts. A pretty ballsy move to pull in Sweden these days where everyone is afraid of being misinterpreted, be politically correct or just try to be polite. I like these kind of people.

Eventually I asked her how old is she herself. I said "You look 40, but based on the things you told me you must be older". She laughed and told me that I should not be asking a woman these kind of questions. And then she told me she is 51. I kid you not, I have not seen such an attractive woman at this kind of age, with 3 children. If she was single I would not hesitate to ask her out in a hearbeat. Bear that in mind, we have a 31 year old difference. I actually thought she was hot, but chose to tell her she looks beautiful instead. Classy, smart, well educated, intelligent and ballsy. How could I not converse with her? I liked to meet these kind of women, that can empower others, instigate change, stand up for what is right, have their voice heard and take shit from nobody. All that while being a good person and a mother with values. Now I can see how someone can fall in love with another older or younger person, based on intellectual attraction and not only just looks.

While our doggies were playing around we engaged in this discussion about moving or returning to a new country, how hard it was to make friends, rebuild your life, reinvent yourself and have fun in the process. She ended up telling me that most people here are sadly unsocial unless intoxicated and that Stockholm has the largest amount of single or divorced people in the world. How women sleep with a man, two men, ten men or whatever number, pick the one that satisfies them best sexually and then decide if that man is worth knowing for or has more qualities. I can understand that, sexual health and chemistry is important in a relationship. But we both agreed on the lack of emotion that exists in the Nordic countries. Martha went on an on and I kept looking into her large, glimmering, vivid blue eyes, almost forgetting to take a look at my own dogs. We have a Greek word that I would use to describe her. That word would be "Σαγηνευτική" that in direct translation can mean exciting, alluring, enticing or seductive.

She planted a seed in my brain about how I view the world and dating in Sweden and that I maybe need to reconsider things a bit and change perspective. Today I felt a bit wiser. Thank you beautiful Martha.

Goodnight Sweden

My own Flicka.

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