It's a sleepless night

It's a sleepless night, she's calling your name.

It's a lonely ride, I know you want her.

Again and again you are chasing a dream.

But Kostas my friend, it's not what it seems.

Just open your eyes, and listen to me.

Her kiss is her poison, forever inside you, wherever you go.

What a way to start 2018. Sitting at work, listening to my lovely late 80's tunes and writing weird blog posts like these.

However, I must admit that everything is rather well. I came back from my holiday vacations and I did not gain a single gram of weight while enjoying the delicious Greek food that I missed so dearly, especially seafood. Yum!

I have been a bit behind my training but that is also alright, my body needed a break and I need to recapture my motivation and start off strong once again. Last year was a landmark in my life and I have vowed to continue. 2018 is going to be my year. The year of the fox. Or scorpion, I just made it up, it sounds slightly poetical and corny. I like corn.

Sipping my tea, why can't you see, oh Johnny B. It is green with a little touch of honey to spice up the flavor a little. In the second screen, Bad Boys is playing on Netflix while I am taking my notes. I got upgraded to equipment manager you see and that means I have to go downstairs in the basement where everything is a big mess and try to shape things up. And that I will do.

The best thing about the basement is that nobody can disturb me and I can work in peace. And even better, I can put on the old fashioned cassette player that has some beautiful rock n' roll tunes from the 60's and 70's and the lyrics actually have some sort of meanings when you compare them to today's music.

I keep thinking about a few things that I want to buy for myself. One is a gaming computer, something that I have solely missed since 2010. The other thing is a beautiful OLED TV by LG that I am most likely going to get later in the year when the prices plummet once again "Insert evil laughter here". The last thing is a car, that would come in the end of 2018 or maybe early 2019. Nothing fancy, something to move me around without having to depend all the time on transport times and very expensive monthly travel tickets. I am looking at you SL Stockholm. Looking is an understatement, I am glaring.

I have a visitor next week. It has been a rough few days of communication between us due to some recently discussed events that have impacted the nature of our relationship severely. But in the end I believe it is the correct decision for both of us and unfortunately, no matter how much I would like it to work and would have moved mountains and the world to make it happen (as we tried) I cannot force anyone to do something that they do not want.

We would pretend, build our rocket ships and then fly them away, destination moon, destination unknown, destination limitless. Dogs, cats, names, activities. My friend once asked me if I was a masochist. Could it be that I secretly enjoy the pain, the failure and the emotions that come with it? Could I be Johnny B?

It's gonna be alright. We are going to have a fabulous time. And I am going to meet my best friends on Monday as well in Swedish class. Did I mention that I am starting again Russian next month to finish my diplomas? How about Finnish too? I guess I am a masochist. But then again, Johnny B, I thrive on pressure in a sadistic way.

How has your 2018 been so far? Don't be shy, leave a long awaited comment. Are you a Johnny B too? Or maybe you are just interested in my beautiful animal pictures in my Instagram. I am not going to spam my profile but my name there is kostasgoesabroad. Original I know.

This is going to be my year and I am going to fill in the last parts of my puzzle. The last few years have been some sort of a Jenga tower, always ready to fall when something happened and rocked the foundations. If you do not know what a Jenga tower is:

1) You are too young

2) You spend too much time on Instagram, Facebook or Phone

3) You are too young

4) You have never played some kind of boardgame

5) Meow (I just felt like adding a meow and wasted your time by making you read this whole sentence)

I will go back to being Johnny B now. But this time I will try to pay attention when the green light turns to green.

This all might sound grim or bleak or negative, but it is actually rather positive. If you are healthy, have a decent job, a home and someone to love, you have everything to be happy and successful. So look yourself in the mirror, set some goals for the year and reach them one by one. You are awesome.

Happy new year!

This is my story

A lot of things have happened since the last post in December. I live in Finland now until June. I am halfway through my thesis. I spend too many hours in the house watching Twitch and playing silly video games.

I have been writing a book. It may or may not be released ever. It is based on a true story. As i try to banish these thoughts from my head making it a daily struggle i thought i could write a bit here, a few fragments and share with whomever happens to be around. A message to everyone: Even though a choice comes back to haunt you and your dreams, do not regret it. It happened for a reason. Everything happens for a reason. So without much introduction, here's a section based on a true story. If people like it, i will share more. Enjoy.

"She promised me we would wake up at 4:21 to catch the bus around 5 am. We both set our alarms around that hour and we kept talking and hugging until time passed and it was over midnight. I told her to save her strength and take a short nap as I was anxious and could not sleep, fearing of not waking up. I watcher her sleep and I decided to lie next to her, smelling her hair and neck, trying to absorb that smell and keep it forever with me.

Eventually I fell asleep. A few hours passed and I woke up by sheer luck around 4:40. In the beginning I was happy. We were sleeping together, holding hands, like inseparable partners. It was the second time I had that feeling i felt in October 21st, that it was here that I belong. Then happiness gave way to panic as I saw the time and woke her up. She panicked too and we started looking for alternatives. It was not easy moving around the deep snow with 5 bags weighting so much. I watched her dress, I watched her care, I watched her have a deep sorrow in her eyes.

We found out a time that we could barely scrape it to the bus and the train at 5:26. We dragged my bags through the snow for 15 minutes in a massive struggle towards the bus stop in Flogstavagen. She was powering forward without stop, determined and strong. If only she knew how much i admired her. Once we reached the bus stop we waited there, it was cold. It took 10 minutes for the bus to arrive and we hopped on in the middle, tethering the luggage with a belt and sitting together on top of them.

When we finally made it to the train station we run with as much strength we had left to catch the train. It was leaving in 3, 2, 1 minute. But when we went to the platform there was no train. It was Sunday and the next train left in 30 minutes at 5:56. I would barely make it to the ship. I sat there with a big void in my eyes while she comforted me. I was about to leave her forever and she was still strong for me.

The train came. We sat side by side and I held her hand strongly while caressing her hand with my fingers. She was wearing the ring i gave her underneath her gloves. A ring that i carried through my entire life since 1998 and I will never see it again. Nor I will see her. The only thing she didn't know was that I had another ring with me. I ring I planned to give her in June 3rd, right after my thesis presentation. It was a vows ring that had a name engraved on it "Νικη Μανδηλαρη Σαρρη". It was the only thing that kept me going.

We once more raced through the train platforms of Stockholm towards the taxis. There was no traffic so there was a glimmer of hope of making it there with the ship leaving at 7:45. It would be close. The taxi driver asked some questions and when we said we are from Greece he began talking in broken Greek as well. He was an expat from the Middle East that loved Greece for his holiday destination. He took us as fast as possible to the ship docks. My heart was racing.

I bought a ticket and was ready to go through the passageway alone to the ship. I don't know how i found the strength to carry 5 bags. I said a quick goodbye to her and a kiss and run and run and run. Bags were falling, but i kept going. And then i reached the entrance of the ship. It would leave in 5 minutes. I stood there watching as the steward urged me to enter the ship or risk missing it.

I turned back and run to the lobby. She called me to see if I made it. I lied and said that the ship left early. It was all a big lie. It was a lie because I missed the ship on purpose so I got to spend another day with her. I could see the small happiness within the sorrow in her eyes. We would spend 12 hours wandering in Stockholm together. I held her hand once more with pride and squeezed it as much as I could as we walked our way towards Gamla Stan to find a coffee shop to sit and relax. I stopped and looked at the purple sky of Stockholm admiring its beauty. I told her "This is not how I expected us to see Stockholm together, but it is so beautiful".

We walked  towards the center and sat down in a shop called Espresso House. It was the dirtiest coffee shop we had ever seen. We took some juice and bread and we sat on the couch removing our shoes. We cuddled as I held her hand and legs. That is how that day started, a day of happiness, love, sorrow and pain."

We don't talk anymore as she blocked me from her life. She doesn't know everything and probably doesn't want to anymore. She is having a good life. I am happy for her. The sun is burning bright in Turku right now. And so is my passion. I hoped you like my story. I will close out with a song. A song I have handwritten among other things and wanted to mail it to her for her birthday in September 4th. Do you think I should, or should I let her walk her own path?

Song by Dido - White Flag

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you,
Or tell you that.
But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it
where's the sense in that?

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess and
destruction to come back again
And I caused nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "it's over"
then I'm sure that that makes sense

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

And when we meet
Which I'm sure we will
All that was there
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on....

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

Θα σε αγαπώ μέχρι να κλείσω τα μάτια μου. Είχες δίκιο, διάλεξα να μείνω μακριά σου. Είχες δίκιο, μου δώθηκαν άπειρες ευκαιρίες.  Αν το διαβάσεις αυτό ποτέ, θα σε αγαπώ όσο καμία. Δεν ήσουν ποτέ δεύτερη. Ήσουν η Νίκη της καρδιάς μου και ήθελα θέλω να γίνεις η Νίκη της ζωής μου.

Things to bring with you - Preparing for the move to Sweden

I am starting to believe that the man of Kro-Manion has come back to life, hits all the women in the head with a club and drags them back to his cave to hide them. Survive and reproduce bro.

Where are all the women in this town???

This sums up my latest exit in the local nightlife, where we spend more time having fun with things around us, than listening to good music or flirting. I can't wait to move to Sweden or visit Athens next week.

My last post sparked some interest, and i thought i should make a small collection of posts, detailing each topic more in-depth, such as:

• Cost of Living
• Clothes and what to bring
• Finding a job
• Weather report

So today i m going to talk about Things to bring. Around 3 months left untill my highly anticipated move and today i was looking at my closet seeing only shorts and short-sleeved shirts due to the weather here and the upcoming hot summer. I thought "Hey! I am going to die there!".

First of all i am going to get the absolutely necessary stuff first in 1-2 suitcases so they don't also overcharge me in the airport, then package and ship the rest, such as my PC or extra clothes.

Clothing. As we previously stated, it also depends on where you live in Sweden and the time of the year that you will move there. Moving in the summer and live up North? It can be hot in the summer and cold at nights, be sure to pack both sets of clothes. Moving close to Stockholm in the summer? Pack a few warm clothes as it can be cold sometimes but down north the climate is more mild. So you choose clothing depending on the time of the year, then ship the rest to you house. It is more practical and simplifies it.

Food. Not much to say here as food is mostly forbidden in airports, but if you are Greek like me and you can't live without olive oil bring some with you, it will go a long way and its 5 times more expensive in Sweden due to being imported.

Kitchenware. Bringing a couple dishes, maybe a pot and a few forks/knives/spoons is not a bad idea if you can. You will mostly buy the basic stuff from a place like IKEA but untill you settle down in the first days how are you going to eat? On the ground with your hands?

Furniture. Even if your rented house is furnished, it is never a bad idea to bring a pillow and some sheets with you to avoid unpleasant surprises. When it comes to decor, ehm maybe a small lamp or some books along the way. Ship the rest, or to outweight the cost and trouble, just raid your local IKEA store. It's cheap and will come with delivery. If your apartment is furnished, well, you can tweak it along the way.

Miscellaneous. Hmmm. Leave toys, big books, relics, tokens, your girlfriend (haha joke...) @ home. If you want them so bad you can ship them or ....Guess what!...Raid IKEA! They might as well sell new girlfriends there! Damn my humour is suffering lately.

I can't think of anything else vital right now, things such as getting a mobile phone contract will be covered in the next posts. I still haven't moved there, but i am searching every day to find useful information to integrate in my posts and help you new students, or movers to get an idea of how things work. Nothing is foolproof, but common sense prevails.

Laters! May is here!

PS. Atletico Madrid. What an amazing team you are.

10 kisses to keep you warm

He had a surprise for her. It was time for him to leave, on August 29th, 2008. He could see it in her eyes that she was sad, ready to weep and cry. They were strolling around the White Tower of Thessaloniki on what was a rare cool evening in the summer. They sat on the marble benches that occupy that area right next to small compartments of green with trees and the saltiness of the sea in the gulf of Thermaikos.

The area was full of tourists and many of them were french. He started teasing them with a weird french accent that sounded more like a greek peasant and she was giggling all evening, covering her face with her right hand as always, trying to choke the laughter that would make people turn their heads.

There were also many people trying to sell stuff, from phones, to back-scratchers (who goes on a walk and says: "Ohhh! Let's buy a remote control, or a wooden stick to scratch my back alone!"....). Tip of the day. Not very legitimate.

Seriously???

 

After becoming tired of their approaches from the corner, he remembered a funny line our National Star Andrew Euaggelopoulos said and decided it would be smart to use it on the next salesman. Poor guy comes close and before he opens his mouth..

"No thank you we don't want anything you sell", Kostas says.

While the salesman leaves, he turns around and tells Alyx:

"See how i killed him there in the corner so fast?"

Funny eh Kostas? Salesman was some sort of Bulgarian descent and he heard him, turns around and says commandingly "Do you think you are funny little man?"

"Noooothing nothing kind sir", he replies and luckily for him, Hasan leaves.

Now he had to relieve that pressure and the awkwardness, so he decided to let her know he was staying for one extra day.

"I'm staying untill the 31st, i want to spend one more day with you, i don't want to leave", tells her awaiting for her response.

Pupils dilated, her grip tightened, an overflowing string of happy emotions taking over her. His arm around her shoulders, brought together to stop her from getting cold.

"The days have passed so fast, you are leaving soon, what next? This was like a kite", she says.

"This kite loves you", he replies.

"You said a big word", she says.

"One word i will keep", he says with a soothing but assertive voice, looking into her eyes, stroking her hair.

Last day came, August 31th, their soon to be anniversary for years to come. He booked his ticket in the local train station, time 01:51 am. Then went out to meet her. She was late as usual. He must have heard crawling by Linkin Park at least 5 times untill she showed up. But he didn't care. He would savour the moment. He was scared but he had to make his move, open up and show his true feelings.

The walked around and stopped at their usual spot, right outside her school, where they spent almost every night sitting on a steel bench using an orange fiat punto. They sit, she always on his right and fired up their favorite song, Sleeping Sun by Nightwish, the band that was the reason they met.

 

First picture together.

 

Time flied by, and he was about to make his move.

"I don't want to leave, but i would like you to give me a present", he says.

"Like what?", she replies.

"How about a kiss for the road?", it was his last chance.

She says nothing, looking straight ahead, clearly thinking what bumpy road follows ahead. She turns her head, leans in and kisses him, both hands on his cheeks, caughting him offguard, surprised pleasantly. They kiss for a minute, time flies by. Finally some idiots in a passing car shouted "Go easy on the girl!", so they stop and giggle together, hands holding, each feeling eachothers taste and smell. Engulfed by passion and desire they kissed 6 more times, each longer than the previous one. It was magical, passionate, engrossing.

He had to leave, so he took her home. On the way they stopped below the balcony of one of her friends, Claudia. She chatted with her for a bit and then kissed him 2 more times, like she was showing off her prized asset to her friend and the world. They stopped at her door. A door he was bound to see many more times.

They hugged like the end of the world was near, their bodies becoming one, hips, thighs, chest united. He stroked her hair and her right cheek and gave her one final kiss.

"I will be back for you, i want you in my life", he said.

"Those were 10 presents to keep you warm untill you get back", she replied almost ready to cry.

He was on the way to the train, and they were texting back and forth all the time. She always mixed Orpheas the musician with Morpheus, the god of dreams. So he teased her by saying that Orpheas will keep her safe untill they met again. He still keeps the texts, one of them saying "I miss you already i am crying" and his reply "I can still feel your heart beating down my chest".

He arrives on the train station, ready to embark on his greatest journey yet. He was not sure untill he saw the name of the train. It was called Orpheas.

No coincidence.

Can a smile motivate you?

Sometimes my sister calls me crazy because i talk to strangers in social gatherings or bars. I call it being social and things like the one i am going to describe next are selfproof that it is worth it.

One and a half month ago we had the carnival here in Kalamata for the second year running. It was much better organized than the first one though the weather spoiled it a bit in the end. There we were in our favorite rock bar with my amazing friend aggeliki and behind me sat a cute little girl with some books. Books in a rock bar @ 11 am baffled me so i started a conversation with her and her sister. Now we are all best pals and i just love them. So this is a pointless little post just for me to inspire and instill some love and confidence to our little girl who has her last school exams in two months time and to also show our support for her ahead of the rough times.

Here enters Vicky:

Carnival vampire atmosphere

  

Her sister is shy as you can see.

Everytime i see her i forget whatever i am doing and just go give her a massive hug and a big lift. I think last time i told her around 37 times in the same night that i love her. Don't let her classy looks fool you, she is going to be a kick-ass criminologist! Also for some uknown reason i feel very happy around her, must be her energy and positivity, she, her pesky sister and aggeliki give some colour in my life and that is needed in these times of severe depression.

But enough words for tonight, it was going to be a short post and a declaration of love! Everybody wish Vicky success in her exams and we hope to have her with us in Sweden one day!

Good grief!