Strength forged through sacrifice

Again and again the same questions.

"When does someone truly love me?"

"How should I know, how should I make sure?"

"I am afraid I will be hurt again, I should not open up to others"

And many, many more.

I am not sure about you, but I do not have standards about that and neither should you. In the end, it is just a feeling and every human being (which is your, unknown weird reader from every corner of the world) feels that this person beside me or this person in this city, or this person 6350 kilometres away from me is special and you truly love them.

All you need to do is take a look at animals and more specifically dogs, who love unconditionally and will be by your side no matter what, no matter the hardships. They will not abandon you.

Better never to have met you in my dream than to wake and reach for hands that are not there.

Unfortunately this is how it usually goes. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a teardrop. And sometimes I wonder if love exists just to reminds us how much the human soul can endure. But it is better to have loved and experienced love and lost it than never to have loved at all.

The hottest love, has the coldest end. And the last one was scorching hot. But it never dies a natural death. We just are unable to replenish the source. It dies from betrayal, weakness, fear and errors. It dies from weariness and sorrow.

In more good news (finally), I am getting back to normal. If only my favourite radio station was not playing just sad songs all the time, it would be great. Then again most of the 70's, 80's and 90's songs are like that right?!

I finally finished my Swedish exams and there is no higher level. One year of hard work. One year of unending continuous trying. What a nice feeling. I went out last Friday and Saturday and even had pizza on Sunday. Every place I love in Stockholm now has its own memories. Is that good or bad? It feels like yesterday when she was there eating pizza folded like a sandwich and I was taking pictures. Oh, and I can still see you.

I will focus on myself now again. Done with relationships and sounding needy and desperate. As usual, I am ascending again after a big fall. But was it so big? I guess nothing compared to Niki. It took me 2 years to finally say her name here again, but finally I am not afraid anymore. The only difference is that I was sure this time about my feelings towards little Aurora. I guess little Aurora, with her tiny paws, tiny glasses and tiny ears let me be myself for a few months. I keep having that phrase repeated "I feel so lonely". Well I felt/feel lonely and betrayed too.

Until we "meet" again little Aurora.

Alone in the dark

I am alone. We are alone. We are not meant to be like that.

My day is a barren, empty yellow day. The clouds are looming grey above me in the Stockholm sky and while there is a glimmer of hope, nobody knows the ongoing struggle in my head. People walk past me with their own issues and they will never really care or wonder why does that man look so sad and plunged into lethe.

My day is a barren yellow day,

Joys that sank

Chocked joys of mine.

My life that burns,

in the yellow air

and the love that was lost in the dust,

the life that was lost in the dust...

I can see you. I can sense you. I find myself in random times for no apparent reason whispering "I loved you so much" in this last crescendo of emotions that has engulfed me.

A week has passed and there is no sign. Everything is getting better. Everything is going to be better, but I cannot help but to grief for lost love. A love that needed two people to dance in the same tune, but ended up having just one dancing alone with the air.

Yesterday I had my Swedish national language exam and the ones I call my friends ignored me or sat somewhere else. It is true that everyone must fend of for themselves and that when you are grieving with sorrow you are not welcome into anyone's life or day. I did not expect them to hold my hand, but I expect them to ask me how I am, even as a placebo.

I once made a friend in Uppsala, a girl that we always had this hidden tension between us until she told me about it later but only after she returned to her native Dhaka. In my time of need I have always worried about her and turned to her, looking for some warmth and a familiar feeling, someone I really wanted to talk to and just let go. And time and again, she has rejected it, probably because of her own issues, but having your own issues is another thing, ignoring and not replying is another. And this was the last stroke, I am nobody's toy or last wheel.

Canada has been haunting me. I listen to a football radio, they talk about Toronto. I watch my favourite YouTube computer tech show, i find out he is based in Toronto. I go into the bathroom, I see her ghost, lying there seductively against the window while the mist from the warm water washes it away. I lost my money, my dignity, my pride and my heart. My head is a mess and my life is in tatters.

I can see you. I can see you right now, terrified and afraid. But it is ok. I forgive you. Because no matter how much it hurts, you do not hate people you loved. Even though they disappeared without a trace and blocked you completely from their lives. I always wondered how can you flip the love switch from on to off in a moment.

In my previous post I said I ran away. I was wrong. You were the one that ran away. Instead of sitting there, talking with me about it, solving it and after a time of healing, accept it, become friends and one day, we would discuss it and just laugh about it. I am 30 years old and all I wanted was you to be my girlfriend.

I am 30, addressing myself to a scared teen. I can see you. No matter the blocks, no matter the unfollows, no matter the long text you sent before your actions, I will always see you. And maybe one day you will send me something, open your heart once more, greet each others as old friends and run towards the sunset.

"I am with you till the end of the line"

Heroes of our time

Where have you been?

Been searching all along

Came facing twilight on and on

Without a clue

Without a sign

Without grasping yet

The real question to be asked

Where have I been?

Where have I been really? We are on life's path trying to find our purpose and success and trying to find our other half. Can someone tell me what is temptation and what is love before I go crazy? I gave everything, or maybe nothing and now I am erasing the dreams day by day. Can you do something to make the pain go away?

I just want to loudly scream "I can't take it anymore, I can't figure it out". But then again maybe the answer lies within me instead. Yes, that's it. I am grateful that there are a couple of people that still love me for what I am. I used to shine with the brightest flame and frankly I am surprised that they still can see it through all the darkness and the mask. I wear a mask at all times, hiding both face and mind, afraid that if I take off the mask the darkness will be revealed. Or maybe not anymore? Is it time for my second phoenix rebirth?

Sebastian threw me a punch in the ring last Thursday that was so strong that it made me dizzy. He kept pummeling me in the body with multiple shots, just like how life has been hitting me since that dreaded moment I met the girl with the flower headband. But instead of throwing punches at me, she only tried to throw me love. And I failed miserably. And 2 years later I am still here writing about it.

As Sebastian was hitting me with everything he had my mind was wondering in time and space while the pain was almost giving me a headache. But I knew I had to pull through. I always did. I waited for him to punch me and leave himself open and then I crushed his jaw with my right fist. I let a shriek that echoed strong within the room as there was a clash of bone and sinew.

He kept going. My stomach was purple and I wanted to fall on my knees and say "Please, that's enough". But instead I looked for another opening while allowing myself to be punched. Right hook, dove under and hit him right in the ribs, then with a left hook in the face. I understood how strong us humans can be and how important 1 punch can be when compared to dozens. Maybe I am a sadist or a masochist and I enjoy the pain somehow. Maybe it is a matter of upbringing and past memories.

I took a look at the only 2 pictures I have from her and me and they show my nadir and zenith. I took a deep breath and started talking to her. In the picture.

"Hej...I....I did something good today. I saved some people in the metro. I wish you could have seen me. I thought you would have been proud of me. Maybe even yell at me for being heroic and that I should not do these things so I can come back home safe."

When people asked me what is my greatest fear, I always replied that it was heights, or the fear of edges. But she made me realize that my greatest fear is being part of a family again. But you can't be a hero if you only care about yourself.

Apart from all the terrible things that happened to me and all the terrible feelings that I made you go through, we kept coming back. The reason I left you is the same reason I kept coming back. The fear, the pain of losing someone you care so much about and when you try falsely to protect them with the only way I know...pushing them away.

Sometimes..sometimes losing people is a part of life...but...this doesn't mean you should stop letting them in...Some very wise people taught me that. My life's love that I cherished the most reminded me how it is to feel loved again and what true love feels like. She taught me that I, for all my faults, have something that is worth loving.

I pushed myself to get out of the house more recently and I had real help from someone over the past month that I am so grateful for that it is difficult to put into words. She stands just 1.52 cm over the ground but she stands tall like a mountain. She might not realize it but she is one of the most important people that I have met lately and one of the reasons I am putting some extra effort and to get out of my comfort zone. I would rather be surrounded by 1-2 people like her than a whole horde of people that don't really care about me and text me only when Facebook reminds them that it is my birthday. So thank you. I love you for what you are.

I'm a shapeshifter. What else could I be?

Goodnight Sweden

Shine bright like a diamond

I haven't felt in a long time. Truth be told, I have felt anger, respite, compassion, laughter and relief in the past year. Mostly negative feelings. But I had not have feelings for another woman since the footsteps on the beaches of my heart were washed away last year.

Last week I met someone that reminded me how it is to feel for someone. How your heart fluffers at the moment you see them, how you want to get to know them and your mind makes up dozens of scenarios of how things could turn out. How you see them gliding, not walking and making the room brighter like a bonfire. A bonfire that I would want to dance around.

I told her that the first things that went through my head were 3. That I wanted to take her to the rooftop, hug her, kiss her and look at the stars and exchange stories while looking at the moon. That I could see myself grabbing her by the hand and going all over the world to explore it. Lastly, that she was indeed not walking, she was strutting around, gliding with a certain invisible aura that enchanted me from the very first moment. The indescribable feeling that overwhelms you sometimes and whispers to your soul from all your pores "I want to know this person, I need to know this person".

As I finally got over my shyness and talked to her, I realized how right I was. She is like the moon. She is so timid, shy and sensitive and sometimes tries to hide it from the world. But then there are those moments where she is full, like the full moon and it is just impossible to look away, because she is beautiful.

I told her that even if nothing happens, she will be a landmark in my life, because she reminded me of how it is to feel. We are both in similar situations now, where we just want to be happy and free spirits, like a wild stallion galloping across a sandy beach when the waves are just crashing down. She may not know it yet, but others are in the dark and she just shines, others just rhyme but she does it from the heart. She is a blessing in disguise and the most adorable, bubbly expressive personality I have seen in a long time. I don't write much but when I do I try to warrant the post's existence and this post deserves my time.

I hope she continues to shine bright like a diamond and shed some light into my life for we are the heartbeats of a true heart.

Goodnight Sweden

The eighth wonder of the world

I never believed I would cry while watching King Kong. I only shed a tear during particular movies or scenes that remind me of something. One of them is Madagascar 3. Now you all might be thinking, why would this fool cry over a giant ape being shot to death or a pair of furry cute cartoon characters in a kid's comedy animated film?

It is obviously not the case. It is about the emotions we have attached to them. For me it has been a person that I watched Madagascar 3 with. We did not watch King Kong together, but during a few scenes it was reminiscent of me, my life and my emotions or thoughts about her.

There is a particular scene where Alex the Lion does some sort of stunt on a train. He climbs on the wall in front of a tunnel and does a back-flip. Gia the Jaguar calls it "Trapeze Americano". The girl I loved with all my heart started using that sentence for those brief days we spent together. The most enlightening, beautiful days of my long, tiresome life.

I have accepted that we will never be together again. But I regret every day that I think about her, that I did not tell her those days how I felt. How I never told her "I love you N".

Since then I have cried many times. In places that nobody could see me. Occasionally, some did. Most of them were tears of frustration, respite, grief. But 2 years later, I still love her. After such a long time, tonight I shed tears of sorrow.

Why King Kong then? When I first watched the movie in 2005 and all those subsequent times until now, all I saw was a beast action film. Tonight I saw something different. I saw Kong swinging around like an acrobat and I remembered trapeze americano. I saw the face of the beauty, that beauty who I wanted to bear my children and be my loving partner for the rest of my natural life. But I ended up being the beast.

And the Prophet said:

And lo, the beast looked upon the face of beauty.

And it stayed its hand from killing.

And from that day, it was as one dead.

"And then I held her hand, I looked deep into her beautiful, dark big eyes that were looking at me with anticipation."

"Is that the part where you told her how you felt?"

"No, I never said it"

"You never said it?"

"I was afraid. I thought I didn't need to say it"

"Then how does she know it's real?"

"I said we will talk about it later. Only there was no later. It never happened. That is how it ended."

"She would give you the world, she would be the one thing that truly mattered and all you did is let her slip through your fingers Kostas."

That I did. That I did. And here I am in a dark corner of my room in Hagsätra writing up about a person I still love. I made that promise, to love her until the end.

Wherever you are, I hope you have found love. You will always hold a special place in my heart. On that hurts but also fills me with nostalgia and the occasional smile. You were never second. You were always my number one girl.

Goodnight Sweden

All dogs go to heaven

The rain was slowly falling down on my head as I was walking back home from work. I was in the final stretch at huvudsta, in that beautiful straight long road that is full of winter leaves and yellow colors now. I just wanted to go sleep and escape from the real world once more. Why? As I said fellow babies, I cannot seem to catch a break. But it's going to be alright. If anything, never give up, never surrender.

I was afraid to sleep. The other day after I dropped Nikoleta, who is a friend that just arrived in Stockholm and the poor thing gets stressed so easily, I went to have a beer with Amanda. The moment I was about to get out of the subway a girl around her 27's fell down on the last step of the stairway and her leg broke in an awkward angle. It was horrific. I held her hand while she was crying and left when the paramedics came. The clash of bone and sinew sent shivering chills down my spine.

Be well in doggie heaven...

Wicky died yesterday. Wicky was the most gentle, beautiful Belgian Shepherd dog of all time. She had bone cancer and she went to dog heaven. I learned about it when I was at work and I cried in the subway, I cried in the apartment too. Every time she saw me, she would drag her old 10 year old body towards me, lie down on the floor, lift her back leg up and wait for me to scratch her belly. Every time I was in the kitchen, she would come sit next to me and look with those patient beautiful eyes that sucked you inside to have a piece of cheese. And some other times, she would climb on top of me and hug me like a human being. I would hug her back and love her with everything I had. Goodbye Wicky.

Other than that my dreams are weird as usual. Nightmares or just plain weird. I do not understand them, but I have ceased trying to. I remember an abandoned train stop that was being constructed and me walking with two friends, Yiannis and Kostas. We met a kid and his father who also happened to be Greek. His name was Andreas.

The dream shifted to my car being slowly losing pieces. In the end only the skeleton was left. I went into a Greek place to buy souvlaki and ended up fighting with someone. I shouted so hard he went under the table. I bought a Coke for 50 cents. Bargain I tell you.

Today I ended up speaking to Lionel Messi and being in a massive conference with my cyborg suit. I remember dogs and sadness. In the end I helped a fat guy in an abandoned endless slope and we teleported away. Turns out some guys from Poland wanted to know more about me and my suit. Apparently in my dream I can speak perfect polish too. I woke up. Alone. The rain still hammers the house like a sledgehammer and I am inside, tucked inside my blanket, writing these words, waiting for the next best thing.

Goodbye Wicky. I will see you in dog heaven.

Kostas almighty - Smite me almighty smiter!

If you are a movie enthusiast like me, you must have seen Bruce Almighty with Jim Carrey. Especially if you like silly humor like I do (ohhh, quelle surprise Kostas!). To keep it short, it's a movie where Jim Carrey is your everyday unlucky man trying to have a better life than he is allowed to. He thinks god is behind all of his bad luck and challenges him, ending up becoming god for a week and making his girlfriend's boobs bigger and reaping chaos and destruction in the city. I love this film. It is hilarious.

So why did I bring this up? Well, in the movie, Bruce (Jim Carrey) just CANNOT GET A BREAK. Literally. Water falls on him, he gets the worst reporter assignments, his own car is against him, his dog pees everywhere in the house. I feel him. I feel for Bruce. Because in 2016, I am Bruce. Yesterday we had one of the worst flood disasters in my hometown of Kalamata. People died, properties were completely destroyed and flooded. Let's take a look where nature decided to park my car.

Now that's what I call parking skills.

But then again, in the end everything started going better for him.

Moral of the story: There is always something that will go wrong in our lives and most likely it will be a chain of events, making you want to gouge your eyes out with a pitchfork. However, a problem always makes you work and look for a solution. Everything will get better eventually. Just do not lose hope.

So yesterday I visited the beautiful Stockholm University campus in Frescati. Amazing landscape, full of green, sunny and with hundreds of people suntanning or eating lunch. It was a great experience. I met my two new partners in crime, Imenne and Reyesssss for lunch and we had some nice discussions about life and how unemployed we are. I shared more ridiculous life stories from my past and Imenne laughed and laughed and laughed at me. I am starting to feel like a live meme here. But it is alright, because that is how I deal with those things, I laugh them away. And those two girls remind me of that. Thanksssss.

I finally sorted my taxes, my house and my SFI lessons so everything has started to pick up pace. I am still a professional dog walker, but we will figure that one out eventually too. How about you? How was your week? Did your own car decide to be a squirrel too? Leave a comment and lets laugh about it together.

The next step is to redesign my CV. I mean it is pretty good because I am super awesome and modest, however it needs to be cleaner and shorter and I have some ideas about it. I have shortlisted where I want to work and I will make it happen. That's the spirit Kostas!

Ehm...that's what I felt like sharing while making a greek salad with a lot of feta cheese and way too much olive oil. I deserve it. See you soon? Maybe.

Bye bye! Kiss the week away!

I wear my winners hat

For the first time in my life i had nothing. I had nothing to write about. A whirlwind of thoughts but a lack of motivation and passion, something concrete to grasp and write about.

But today i wanted to write. Because yesterday i wore my losers hat.

I watched a video from Sean Stephenson on facebook. It made me understand that yesterday i was defeated and i wore my losers hat after such a long time. And today i decided to wear my winners hat. And i felt it.

I woke up fresh, i made my sexy indian food and i sat down, stayed away from Twitch and almost completed my assignment for tomorrow. I then went to class for 2 more hours and I am back home not feeling the slight tiredness. And that is good.

So why did i wear my losers hat? Because my plans were ripped into shreds yesterday. My application for exchange in Finland got rejected and that broke me down, it almost made me cry. Because i had invested so much positive energy and motivation and i was excited about it.

But there are machines that feed on our tears everywhere. So why sabotage ourselves even further? Why through wrenches in our own machines?

I also remember walking towards home the previous week. It was 1 am and i was back from Stockholm. I lost the last bus and i had to walk home. It was a painful 1.5 hour walk in the cold. And 1 hour in i find out a lost my gloves. The gloves that someone very special to me had given me.

I gathered all the strength i could muster and i ran, and ran and ran for 4 km until i had no more breath and i could not scream in the dark anymore. I found them. Never back down. I looked back and i saw a colossal mountain, another hour of walking.

I went and went and went and tried to occupy my mind with happy thoughts and finally i was almost home. As i walked through the familiar forest path i felt strange. The lights began to dim and the road was pitch black after that last lamp.

It was like a black hole consuming all the light, all hope and sucking you in, ready to plunge you in the darkness and the void. But something happened as i approached my doom.

As i was passing the lamp my eyes started to adapt. I could barely see what lied ahead of me. I was blind but now i see. There is always a small glimmer of hope that you can only see if you don't see your glass as empty. And it gradually got better. There was light in the end of the tunnel. And i would fucking capture it.

Thinking about it, things have gotten better. My health has improved, my determination has improved. I still need to work on my motivation but i will get there. My grades are improving and suddenly the tides have changed. From 2/5 courses i am sitting on 4/5 and i am doing fantastic in the 3 so far this semester.

So with this bombshell it is time to end this short post.

And remember. Always try to wear your winners hat.

Thanks Sean Stephenson. Goodnight Sweden.

The King is happy - All hail the King!

I have a great sense of excitement for the past few days.

The weather is still great, i love the snow, the day is becoming bigger and i am starting to come out of hibernation. 

Was i complaining about the lack of friends before? You know what? I have all the friends and important people i need. I have Katerina, my dearest friend of all in Kalamata. We have few discussions due to the distance, but i know and she knows that we are here for everything the other one needs. The same applies to our mutual friend Aggeliki. She is always so happy when i am there and so sad when i leave and she has nobody to make those horrible sexist jokes i do. Afroditi has her own struggles with her new life and i miss the fun we had in those ridiculous greek night clubs. And here i have that Portuguese baboon Jaime. He has helped me so much and i would give my left arm and right leg for him (could i give just a kidney mate? I am too handsome for 1 leg and 1 arm! :D). And i have the best friends in Thessaloniki as well, were Xaris is my savior during New Year's and Mary and Viktoria are the best friends, travel partners and sisters a man could ask for.

Tack sa mycket then friends! Thanks for getting me through these tough times here.

What about the boring classes i had last semester? Oh these are gone too. Yesterday for the first time in my life i approached the professor of Entrepreneurship, Katarina Lundqvist and told her that i have not been excited for a class for over 10 years. I felt like i was the jury or a lawyer in an important case or a soap opera called "Just or Unjust" learning valuable and interesting things, historic facts about business that i love and i was handed the freedom to choose a project to write about, a project that excites me and stimulates me. It was very interesting how most people there were dressed so formally or like going to a fashion show coupled with ties and suits and an apple computer.

The semester started yesterday and i got in touch with my other 2 classes and especially the one today was so interesting, the professors so cool and the historical facts great. I learned the story behind the L'Aquila earthquakes of 2009 and the ongoing trials, or how i successfully researched the storage of nuclear waste in the crystalline bedrock under Sweden and Finland. I am also one step closer to moving to Turku with my beloved Fox. My life could not be more exciting right now.

A new beginning, a new hope.

Well there is one thing! I love your comments, i want them! I want your suggestions and your criticism! So drop a nice little comment below, leave a like, follow, subscribe, it is all in the panel on your right!

Since i am all feeling pumped up and happy right now i will provide some info that someone that lives in Uppsala or in Stockholm might find it useful. I had to go to Stockholm the other day and i needed to know what is the cheapest way for me.

I have a monthly student yellow card that is valid for the whole of Uppsala up to Arlanda airport. That is 550 crowns per month, or around 60 euros. I would stay in Stockholm a day or so, so a 24 hour pass would suit me well. Therefore, a 130 crown SL card lasts 24 hours and is valid for every transport in Stockholm until Arlanda. So if you have one of those monthly cards, a 24 hour, 3 day or weekly card in the respective city will be enough and will help you save some costs!

I am gunning up for my project in entrepreneurship, which will most likely be the way important people managed to secure capital for their economic ventures when they were actually broke. What else to expect? I am trying not to read the news anymore because all i see is things like how rich women party in Iran, or how a radio show can help you sleep with 3 pornstars and one of them looks like a combination of the Golum and the Bigfoot and the woman with addiction to breast implants. Or how innocent women are shot in the head in the name of Islam, or the orgies that happened in the Vatican or Monasteries. The last thing i read was that a man went on stage with his girlfriend and performed oral sex on her on stage during a Dead Kennedys concert. That was on the Huffington Post. Entertainment and news coverage on its finest. Good grief.

Is there something else to say? Nah i was just so excited i wanted to share my thoughts with you all! Help me grow more!

Goodnight Sweden!

I'm too old for this gasque

It's Saturday already.

Thursday and Friday went down fast. But everything you do here is a reflection of the vivid, fast-paced life you should expect when moving in a student city like Uppsala.

Thursday was really casual, with the exception of waking up in Silent Hill and waiting for a monster to attack you in any corner.

Welcome to Silent Hills..

We had our second GIS lab around 8:15, where the teacher just threw us a paper with instructions and we had to follow them and make a workflow model in arcMap. It was not that hard in the end but the info lacked cohesion at some points. I did good and had some nice collaboration with Isabelle and Cecilia.

I stayed a bit longer than normal to send the required files. Everyone left at around 12:00, which is the essential lunch break for Swedes. There could be a meteorite striking earth but they will have their lunch break. Remember that and respect it.

I went home and just did my homework, studied Swedish and finished my first "test" even writing my first essay in swedish talking about myself. Wow that is going pretty fast huh?

I chatted a bit with my angel because it's been almost a week since i saw her. I watched some CS:GO videos and around 30 times Captain America kicking the Winter Soldier into a van. I also listened to a lot of music, which has been a recurring trend since i moved here and i like it. I sent my angel the world's sweetest kisses and slept like a baby.

From dusk till dawn, it's Friday. I still need to pay the dentist. I wake up at 8:28, quickly get dressed and clean my fabulous new teeth. It's time to enter the Matrix again and pick up Marley.

Biking to the tunes of my random library i heard from Drums n Bass to Melodic Death to Pop. I struggle at the hill towards the GeoCentrum but i finally pretend to lock Marley. Cecilia is there and we greet eachother, me with a massive struggle for air and breathing. Heavy legs and the weight of 26 turbulent years on my back. A glare directed to Marley.

Snap back to reality, oh there goes gravity. I wear my nicest smile and regain my composure and enter the GeoCentrum. Oh there's Jaime, let's head up towards the Earth System's lab. Christian is there and he gives us a nice introduction to the Cryosphere lab.

I am together with Isabelle and a guy called Ahmed, who has not shown up for the master's program. So we have to do double the work compared to the others. Sarah is next to me. Isabelle is really easy going and smart and hard-working, i like working with her. Which is a stark contrast with how pretty she is, by greek standards of course.

After a barrage of questions and Christian accusing me of stealing Holger's wallet that was pretty funny, we manage to get to the lunch break around 12:00. I stay in the lab untill 13:00 to finish most of the stuff. Izie gets part one and i get part two.

I go out with Jaime and we head towards the professor in charge of our GIS project, Caterina. She is not there and i draw a sad face emoticon outside her drawing board. Jaime laughs and we continue making hideous jokes about the people that pass by, like the woman with the jelly butt. We eventually go to Rickard, the head professor of the course. He tells us with his usual soothing calm voice that we need to mail the Caterina and set up a meeting.

Going out the first word to come out of Jaime's mouth towards the other people waiting outside for the same reason is "Go home". I burst into laughter and we go in the GIS computer room to finish some exercise.

Actually Jaime did all of my work, which was to create a watershed map model of a lake basin around Kiruna. My map was tilted and horrible, and it had some weird flag-resembling drawing in the upper corner. I laughed so hard for the following hour with Jaime and we managed to make it look like some sort of map.

I thanked him for helping me because i was/am clueless and promised him to wash the dishes for the following 10 years, which was not probably a good idea. We go out and pick up his bike and Marley, who was still there sadly. Then i figure out he lives next to me in Gottsunda.

We bike together and he throws a million kg of sand from his bike. I get bamboozled but i soon understand, because he drags me through a construction site to get home. It's the same construction the three swedes took me inside in my previous adventures.

I make it home and by bread, a coke and cheese from Lidl for around 31 crowns. I'm living quite cheaply here so far, eating outside, having fun and drinking a bit. Stockholm is way more expensive, i made the right choice.

I sleep for a bit and message my russian angel for a meeting. Elizabeth can't go to the gasque so she has a pre-drink party at Flogsta. I message her i'm not going as i will meet my Vitalina at Pop...ehm Upplands to try and sneak in the gasque or something around 7.

I get up at 6:40, bathe until 6:44, get ready and leave the house at 6:57. Marley is my biggest bane, we make it to the Upplands nation around 19:15. I race inside and look for my princess.

Guess what, she is nowhere. I wander aimlessly and without purpose in the yard seeing boring people eating boring burgers. There is a girl that looks like her, i stare and my heart pumps faster with anticipation. It's not her.

I end up picking up a chair calling 4 times and sending an sms. I guess i never learn. You know it's soul crushing waiting for someone you like so much and being powerless to do anything. But call me an idiot, i don't care in the end, it will be worth it. She's finally there after 35 minutes.

I lay down clutching my face while she gets to me and gives me a hug. Damn you Vitalina for being so pretty, you wash all my trouble away in an instant.

We try to get in the gasque, but we have no invitation and we are not dressed formally. So we sit and have some fun in Upplands, then move to Varmlands, which is equally boring. We end up sitting in a table with two boring swedish women sharing half a Cider. There is a guy behind us in the table chopping paper and napkins into pieces like mad all night, some disgusting Jack Daniels bottles with candles inside and a woman dressed as a zebra behind me.

On the other side of the room at the couches, the most sad recollection i have so far from sweden. A guy with his girlfriend, looking so depressed and facepalming himself, while his girl is laughing watching at her iphone screen all the time. In the end she just leaves him, he waits for 5 minutes and then he leaves too with the look of a thousand wars and famine and plague in his face.

We have a great discussion with my angel and a lot of fun. Time flies by and it's around 10 now. I don't have to share what we talked about, it was mostly about our past, our future and the occasional "you make me feel happy and special" speech. Oh we had a great laugh about Mattias and his pervert hugs too.

Did i mention that she left her bike by luck right next to Marley? Of all the hundreds of bikes there. I get her safely home as she makes fun of Marley. We exchange hugs and i hope i see her again soon.

I get to Snerikes, where there is no entrance that day. It's empty and quiet, mostly due to the gasques around the city. I find Elizabeth and Catherine along with around 20000 men around them. There are a bit smashed, so i don't really bother. We sit, and i exchange a friendly hug with Elizabeth, because she is in the friend zone now, say goodbye and leave with Kostas, another greek.

We go to the line in Varmlands. Nikos and a swedish girl i don't care to remember join us, but the club is closing in 1 hour and i am not paying 80 crowns for that. I follow those two towards OG nation, we get in, we manage to get some beers and watch sad people dance to tunes unheard off by me.

I end up alone in the room below, sitting with a broad smile on my face watching everyone dance like they have no bones or their limbs are about to leave their bodies. It's just not my style anymore. I am past that phase. I casually drink my beer thinking about leaving. Then out of the dancefloor comes Danika and Natalie.

Danika is looking absolutely dazzling. I literally caught myself with my jaw dropping at times. We have some fun with Natalie, who is a pretty cool girl too.

Time for me to go though. I get Marley and reluctantly bike home. It's cold as usual. It's becoming a cliche, me saying that it pierces through my soul and bones.

But i make it home around 2 am. There are 2 things left to do. Say goodnight to my angel and tell her i had a great time. And send a message to Danika telling her she was the most beautiful woman in that room.

Goodnight Sweden, or maybe, Hej prepare for another busy weekend!

7 billion smiles, and yours is my favorite

Waking up with excruciating pains all over my body and way too many iron man dreams later i crawled out of bed. I had to pick up Marley's twin sister, Salmonela. She is red and more dirty than you can imagine. She would probably weight 10 kg less if i washed her. But the seat was deceiving, comfortable. I had to bike to Geocentrum and thought it would be a good idea to try not using Marley.

Oh wait, what happened during the last 3 days?

Not much, so i will just give a quick recap. I went for class every day and restarted boxing, a new course began, i started learning swedish and i ran more than 50km. Let's not add the 50km i biked with Marley. Good job Gottsunda boy.

Class was ok, the new course about GIS was so boring. The teacher was speaking so slow, i could not keep concentration and felt sleepy. Which is a bit sad to admit, but i am always honest in what i write or i could just hire someone else to write in here. But i hope it gets better because some people told me that he is great during lab work, where the true work of GIS happens.

About boxing? It was like i never left the ring. I might make it to the fight in Stockholm next month. The training was intense enough for my liking, though there was no feedback from the coach. So you did not know if you were doing it correctly or wrongly. I was pretty much being the teacher to Olivier, who liked our training and wants to spar more with me.

Tomorrow i got my first seminar too, which was fairly easy (we got a 5 min presentation).

She is just so beautiful. Running with her and slowly revealing things about each others past is amazing. I got her some traditional Greek Pasteli that i saved for the first few special people that i would meet in Sweden. The other one is for my little sis Amy. We ran and ran and ran and walked and swung on the seesaw like little kids again.

Then we made it back to Rackatatatataburger. I crashed on her floor and gave her the gifts, she was so happy and i got a kiss on the cheek and the world's warmest hug.

7 billion smiles in this Planet and yours is my favorite...

I got two more kisses and i went home happy as usual. I hope i am going towards the right direction. I think she is special and that it can lead to something amazing.

Yesterday was so tough... New boring class, from 8:15 am until 15:00 with a 3 hour gap in between, which i used to make my fancy 2 page report assignment regarding global climate change by toying with the Solar Constant or the ice albedo. But you don't want to hear about that. Then i spent 1 hour waiting for Amy and the rest of the guys, like Harmeet, Raymon and some new people and we went for a fika downtown. I ate some chocolate pie and we had a really weird conversation about horses. I met a feisty young australian/russian girl and a little american sweetie/beautiful girl Elisabeth.

Why am i always waiting for a woman?

I went for Swedish class, disoriented and tired, legs crumbling and begging for me to stop. I found Jim who found me the class, 16-2043. I got there and i knew Gregor, Kostas, and a few more people.

Then came this amazing robot-like old lady Tulia or so that was going to teach us. She seemed happy, energetic and always shouting Jatter-bra!

We learned some basic stuff and when she asked which languages do i know i replied, Greek, English, French, Russian and sexiga svenska sprok, because i am an idiot. Thank you Queen V for that line, it brought a laugh on everyone's face :D

Then i went to Norrlands with a bunch of people and Jim. A greek guy Spyros was all the time on his phone and i was teasing the Austrian woman Lisie (somewhere along these lines). I waited 1 hour for my burger, devoured it and crawled back home like a lizard. Literally went on my bed on all 4.

Today after finishing the weirdest presentation i just dumped Salmonela (she is so filthy jesus) outside the Geocentrum and walked with Holger downtown. I sent some messages to my gorgeous angel and went for a fika with the usual suspects. I devoured a muffin and greeted Phoebe and the war-torn Danika who fell off her bike. Poor baby, big hug <3.

We joked a bit, i died some more and went on foot to Blasenhus to get Salmonela back. Oh it was a long way home. Because the filthy b@#ch had a flat tire. I listened to my favorite playlist 2 times and the relief was carved in my face when i saw my garage. In goes Salmonela, next to Marley.

I will study and go out for a drink since my angel is tired and will go see a movie. We are not dating (that was a punch below the belt for you stalkers :D) but who knows, maybe one day her heart will be mine!

Hej da Sweden!

Liking someone makes you go the extra mile right Amy?

I felt lonely last Friday. So i picked up the train and went to visit my friend in Stockholm. 

Watched guardians of the galaxy, ate some food and did some sightseeing. 

But while i planned to return early Sunday, let's just say i had to return home Saturday night. I always try to look at things in a positive light and not as an overly dramatic chipmunk. 

I could surprise visit my lovely lady at her first night at work selling lollipops and cleaning dirty women's bathrooms. The event was called Poplands so i thought they would play crappy pop music, but the idea was to give out lollipops. People dancing like baboons and drinking too much beer. It seemed like fun :D

I got there and paid 120 crowns for entry and another 30 for the beer. She gave me the world's warmest hug and then spilled my beer on my hand. It was a waste of money getting in there for 20 minutes, but it was worth every damn penny getting that hug. She is important to me since she is one of the few people that make me smile and always seem happy and positive. Thanks hun.

So i go home dead tired, beaten by weather and exhaustion, though with a wide smile. My headset left it's dying breath shortly after entering the bus. There were some girls around 14-15 that were dressed as tiny future prostitutes which was a bit sad, accompanied by boys with a super Mario mustache and baggy bro-pants.

I did manage to stay awake and write my fantastic interview about Sara the Nuclear Engineer. Here's the link if you have missed it. Then i died in my bed and had a good night's sleep.

I woke up 34 times as usual and managed to crawl out of bed around 11:37. Then i decided to bike my way to Gottsunda Centrum and buy some stuff. I bought yoghurt, bread, cheddar cheese and a redbull and coke. For like 85 crowns. I biked home huffing and puffing thinking how it will be to bike to uni tomorrow. The horror.

Back at home i studied for monday and i spent most of my time chatting with the handsome lady that is still leaving footsteps in the beaches of my heart.

I was tired and exhausted from last night's heroics.

"Join me for jogging", she says.

"I will have to bike there, jog then bike back", my reply.

"You don't have to come Gottsunda...". Gottsunda is my new nickname because i live in the hood.

But here's where passion play comes into the mix.

A) I so want to see her.

B) Never give up, never back down.

C) Good exercise.

D) I so want to see her.

E) Did i mention that i so want to see her?

"I'll be there at 19:30".

I wear my boxing pants and a shirt and i get on my bike. My butt hurts from the bike saddle like they have been kicking me for 19 hours straight. It's like having the world's worst dog. And it's not cute as Marley.

I leave at home at 19:02 and i keep track of time to see how long it would take me to get to uni the next day. 

It's like climbing a mountain. Will my legs last me? A constant struggle. Every time i ran out of breath and leg power i thought of her and her scent that sends cold shivers all over my spine. Oh i thought of something else but it's...weird.

He was a man of peace, living in a quiet farm in North Dakota.

Till one day....all Hell broke loose.

Soldier Voice: Kostas we need you!

Kostas: I'm a man of peace now, I'm done killing! I wanna raise a family!

Soldier: That's just it Kostas! They got your family!

Kostas: NOooooooo!!!!

Narrator: Kostas Mandilaris is Dakota Scott, innnnn Eniolator! From the jungles of Greece to the forests of Sweden, follow one man's quest for peace.

Kostas: Al muhabbar mastour is that you?

Amm: Welcome back Dakota, it's like the older days, we punch everyone!

Soldier (in helicopter): Kostas they got your wife!

Kostas: But I'm not married!

Soldier: You are now! To Sweden! 

Times like these my inner voice asks me if i am an alien. I reply no and it says back to me that "then you have some real issues kid."

I manage to get there 7:26 somewhere in Rackatatatatataburger thingie street. I stop and try to feel my legs and resist my urge to lay waste and breath fire to Marley (let's just call the bike like this now).

I call her and that sweet little voice tells me that she's coming down. We lock Marley with her bike and we walk for warmup. I enter my funny state immediately and joke about Rackatatatatburger. It reminds me of the LMG we fired at the army that was so old like from the 40's and made a sound like "Bratatatatatata". Good start.

We go towards the forest and i tell her not to rape me. Yeah like i don't want her to have her way with me. But that will come in time i don't care the slightest about that. I just want to be near her and fill my life with joy and laughter. I am so proud of myself.

We are deep in the forest in roads unknown. I don't feel tired. We just talk and share and we go on and on. The scenery is like an old forest where fierce battles were fought, with a tiny dose of Gottsunda inside. An archer or a hoplite could attack any minute, while on the same time boyz from the hood or people with turtleneck and chain could come out and scream "lightning bolt!" or "Me want da cash brodah!".

We joke about penetrating the forest more. We reach a child's playground with no kids. There are remnants of child's toys from another era. We swing a bit, climb and do some fail stuff before we go on the seesaw. We laugh like little children while we go up and down and her smile made my heart stand still in time and space again. And again. Then she casually says "let's do some push ups". So i joke about doing the windmill and bodypumping and we keep going.

Doggies everywhere! Oh wait there's a cute little one! An old couple owns it and we turn around to head back. I whistle towards the doggie. And the MAN barks at me.

"GRRLRAIRSAGAAWWWW"

Like a murlock i tell you. A troll from the Misty Mountains. V's trying to suppress her laugh and i choke on my own. We see a forest fluffy cat that doesn't bark and we start our way back again. We get to the road. She has no clue where we are.

But the mighty Gottsunda is never lost. Lucky number 7 passes from here. We are at Sommaro and we jog our way back to Blasenhus. We start walking and we walk through the cemetery because it's romantic.

I always felt that jolt when i hug her or put my arms around her or when she looks at me with those piercing beautiful eyes.

We are finally at Rackatatatataburger and we unlock Marley who is cold and wants to enter the building. I put him inside and hope someone steals him.

We go up for water and meet her lovely roommate. I drink 39 glasses of water and a glass of cranberry juice. Did you know they have a saw hanging on the wall? Or that they cleaned everything with smelly vinegar? :D

We talk a bit and i need to get home. We sit on the door for 5 minutes and i ask nothing more than a kiss in both cheeks. I get to give one back too. It's not time yet. Don't kiss me on the cheeks, i will probably not wash them  for a long time haha.

I get down to Marley happy. I hop on and the cold pierces through my bones and skin like a knife on hot butter. I remember texting her "Oh my god it's so cold".

I pedal home tired. But i manage to do it. That relief when you get to your garage door. Priceless. But no regrets right?

I find the strength to study a bit after showering, i send my angel some cute little messages and i consume 500g of bread and cheese. Because i can.

This is how life can be here. You don't have to party every day to have an exciting life. You just need the right people among you.

I am ready to sleep and i text Amy. She is like the bright star of my life in Uppsala, a younger version of me. I will protect her at all costs like a little sister. Haven't seen them for like a week now so we set up a meeting in Tuesday.

We might be hopeless romantics but it's worth going the extra mile for someone right Amy? ;)

I am on my bed. I lie still as the water. But my visions are broken. Head caught in the tide as cruel as the ocean. Dreams are made in the distance. Tonight i will be amongst them. The silence is filling me, and i can hardly touch the ground...

Goodnight Sweden!

6 days, Interviews, new friends and ungrateful people

Welcome to Greece.

Where corruption and ungrateful people prosper and grow like weed in your garden.

I have been relatively busy in the past few weeks because of my work. That's 4 am - 20:00 pm. 5-6 days a week. Enjoying summer like a boss. It's been a whirlwind too. Where to start from? From my boss/co-owner? From the miserable heat that plagues this country? The humidity or the never ending coughing from going in and out of fridges?

I hate trucks. I really do. You know, those pesky 7.5t ones that drive like an old Zastava Yugo Gt? Oh and the horn. I'd rather gouge my own eyes with a fork than to hear it again. But with 6 days left until my dream move to Sweden, i can handle everything.

You know what's the difference between a Yugo and a Yugo Gt?

............

The lighter works in the Gt version.

A typical day with the driver.

"Look at that crazy stupid mal@ka trying to drive". while he overtakes 2 vehicles smashes the side mirror on an olive tree.

"This woman is crazy, most likely pchyzophrenic". Fast forward 2 minutes.

"You ignorant baboon get off the road, no wash the dishes without noise. If you want to hear music loudly go to the mountain. You are a f@$k a mal$#a and my f#$@g mother that was being f@$ed, and the f#$@#g universities and the professors they can all s@#k my d#$k.

My usual response is always being calm throwing the occasional irritating phrase, such as the war is over, we won, you can come home, or who put you up? Gorbachev?

Welcome to hot Greece.

The heat. The humidity. We had like 42 Celcius for the past week. I have a low tolerance for heat. Thank you Sweden. Please have my babies and i will change my surname to Svensson.

Oh i did swim a few times at the beach. I overtook many vehicles and drove like a Greek asshole. Thank you Sweden for not letting me have a car. Instead i can be careful with my bike. No that was not irony.

I went to Foinikounda to see a friend and swim for 7 hours doing nothing at the beach. I look like a roasted chicken now. Oh one of his friends was an asshole. I told her that. If you find yourself in Greece or the Peloponnese check that place out, or Voidokoilia. You will remember it for a lifetime.

But it's not all bad. It's been fun and games. I actually thrive in these situations because they help me overcome my obstacles. I have been making a few friends lately. They live far away in space and time, but i will meet them.

One lives in Stockholm. Let's just call her Kelly for now. She is pretty emotional and can laugh for one second then cry in the next. Exactly like my grandma. I like her. She likes me too. I make her laugh and tell her sexual jokes about a goat named Stella. She's been through a lot like me, and i just want to take her under my wing and give her care and proderm.

No more tears.

She is probably going to be my first and best friend when i move here and i will care for her like she's my bloodline. But enough showering with compliments because she will call me a player "rollseyes". I am glad i met you.

I also met a finnish girl. We'll call her Jasmine. No she is not a pornstar. She has the softest blonde hair i have seen, sparkling blue eyes and cheekbones to die for. I promised her i will kidnap her for at least a week in Uppsala. She excites me.

I also have 2 more informational interviews in the works. One with a very warm woman i stumbled upon in EngineerGirl. She is a nuclear engineer. The other one is also in the water business. It will be fantastic and a great experience for anyone that reads it. Visit the website, it's fantastic and a great proof that women can be strong, intellectual and independent.

I also tried to interview a Norwegian man and he told me "I am interested, what's in for me?".

Suck cock.

I am packing my last stuff into two huge bags and buying anything useful. Like socks. Underwear. Umbrellas. A lamp. Thanks mom...

I also saw my house in google street view. It's nice. Classic little swedish house. With a nice garden and all. Thank you Francesca. I will buy you some pastelia when i get there.

That's it for now. I am going to make some pasta with 4 kinds of cheese and loads of creme du lait and just purr like a kitten on my bed watching some worthless greek television.

I will write a lote more frequently from next Saturday. And probably expect more pictures. A lot of them.

So Welcome in Greece. And welcome in Sweden too soon.

Swedish weather extravaganza - Preparing for the move to Sweden

Fresh air invigorates me. I don't like cold weather much, this is a fact. I think the hot weather in Greece is the only thing that i will miss, along with my friends.

Soooo, what about the weather in Sweden? In a nutshell, it depends on where you are located. I will mostly speak about Uppsala, since it will host me for at least 2 years, but i will also give some general facts/info about the other places.

Sweden as well as Finland and Norway are located near the Arctic Circle. So "strangely" enough, the northern you live, the more extreme are the temperatures and the span of daylight/night.

You can divide Sweden in 3 basic areas weather-wise, Northeast, Northwest and Southern.

In the North there is a smaller level of humidity in the summer, while daylight lasts for an astonishing 24 hours per day. Winters can be really cold though with average temperatures below -10-15C.

What about southern/central Sweden? Living in Stockholm can be presented as that friend you have just sitting there quietly not uttering a word, being always kind and likeable, but not funny/humorous nor expressive. By that i mean that Stockholms location has a direct impact in the climate. It is built on loads of islands, while it is surrounded by the Baltic Sea. This makes it's climate mild, not super-hot, nor extremely cold during the winter. Days last for many hours during the summer and the temperatures are fairly high for a country located so north and close to the poles. It's humid, so the cold and snow can be penetrating, so pack well!

This image will give you a nice overview of what to expect.

Only 3 hour nights during summers? Wow. 

But how do Swedes dress? What should you bring to feel comfortable culture and weather wise?

During the summer you will need casual summer clothes, but the ocasional raincoat or light/medium sweaters. During the other 3 seasons you will need heavier clothing, sweaters, while an overcoat is a must. Remember, there is no bad weather, just bad clothing, or Det finns inget dåligt väder bara dåliga kläder.

Shoes? Comfortable sneakers or low-heeled shoes for women are good for cobblestone roads or visiting nature! Swedish people love fashion but they will not dress very fancy and glittery often.

Things to bring with you - Preparing for the move to Sweden

I am starting to believe that the man of Kro-Manion has come back to life, hits all the women in the head with a club and drags them back to his cave to hide them. Survive and reproduce bro.

Where are all the women in this town???

This sums up my latest exit in the local nightlife, where we spend more time having fun with things around us, than listening to good music or flirting. I can't wait to move to Sweden or visit Athens next week.

My last post sparked some interest, and i thought i should make a small collection of posts, detailing each topic more in-depth, such as:

• Cost of Living
• Clothes and what to bring
• Finding a job
• Weather report

So today i m going to talk about Things to bring. Around 3 months left untill my highly anticipated move and today i was looking at my closet seeing only shorts and short-sleeved shirts due to the weather here and the upcoming hot summer. I thought "Hey! I am going to die there!".

First of all i am going to get the absolutely necessary stuff first in 1-2 suitcases so they don't also overcharge me in the airport, then package and ship the rest, such as my PC or extra clothes.

Clothing. As we previously stated, it also depends on where you live in Sweden and the time of the year that you will move there. Moving in the summer and live up North? It can be hot in the summer and cold at nights, be sure to pack both sets of clothes. Moving close to Stockholm in the summer? Pack a few warm clothes as it can be cold sometimes but down north the climate is more mild. So you choose clothing depending on the time of the year, then ship the rest to you house. It is more practical and simplifies it.

Food. Not much to say here as food is mostly forbidden in airports, but if you are Greek like me and you can't live without olive oil bring some with you, it will go a long way and its 5 times more expensive in Sweden due to being imported.

Kitchenware. Bringing a couple dishes, maybe a pot and a few forks/knives/spoons is not a bad idea if you can. You will mostly buy the basic stuff from a place like IKEA but untill you settle down in the first days how are you going to eat? On the ground with your hands?

Furniture. Even if your rented house is furnished, it is never a bad idea to bring a pillow and some sheets with you to avoid unpleasant surprises. When it comes to decor, ehm maybe a small lamp or some books along the way. Ship the rest, or to outweight the cost and trouble, just raid your local IKEA store. It's cheap and will come with delivery. If your apartment is furnished, well, you can tweak it along the way.

Miscellaneous. Hmmm. Leave toys, big books, relics, tokens, your girlfriend (haha joke...) @ home. If you want them so bad you can ship them or ....Guess what!...Raid IKEA! They might as well sell new girlfriends there! Damn my humour is suffering lately.

I can't think of anything else vital right now, things such as getting a mobile phone contract will be covered in the next posts. I still haven't moved there, but i am searching every day to find useful information to integrate in my posts and help you new students, or movers to get an idea of how things work. Nothing is foolproof, but common sense prevails.

Laters! May is here!

PS. Atletico Madrid. What an amazing team you are.