Lights, camera, action!

I have been thinking today. Our lives is like a live scripted play. Or a tv series. Full of changes, twists, expansion and it keeps you on your toes for what will follow.

But have you ever felt that you are an extra or a body double in your own script? That the script is just linear and you  simply follow it around and play no real role? That is so interesting.

I certainly felt like this until i moved to Sweden. My life was scripted and linear. Go to school, stay with that boring girl from Thessaloniki, go to the dog park, back home, eat, finish university for no reason, go to the army, help in the family business without having any say in all this.

When i finally realized how stagnant and boring my life had been i decided it is time for a change. But how do you do that when you are just an extra? You know what? You are the writer, you are the main focus of your own script, or you should be at least. And this is an ongoing process so what should you do?

It's fairly simple, even though harder to execute. I wrote myself into a new storyline. This time it was different, this time it was mine. I am done chasing my tail. Embrace change.

Today i went to the International Students Office here in Olofsgatan 10A. If you live in Uppsala and you need information about Erasmus or scholarships pay them a visit Monday-Friday 09:30-12:00 and 16:00-18:00. They were essentially the same people from the swedish seminar yesterday and they were pretty helpful. They answered all my questions in detail and now i am sitting happy with a 99% complete application to finally move to Turku in September. Yay! See, its like a spin off of my script! I want to write a new chapter!

On the way back the bus was full and there was a cute young lady with her baby on a carrier and she smiled and made space for an incoming man with his baby. Or so we both thought. As it turns out the man had filled his carriage with supermarket products and bags and during one turn it slipped to the door and everything crashed down. There was also a very old man that looked at me with a strange look i guess because of my loud music, but then i caught him staring at the butts of young girls.

I also feel a little of an outcast in one of my new classes. I don't know why again. I just don't feel like i want to get to know people and they don't want to know more about me. I tried to talk to some of the people from my group but after a few phrases its like they want to run away or i run out of topics and i can't/don't want to think of any.

Regarding to the events of friendship, i am pretty happy and i sleep well at night. Riding the bus home though i was thinking that i should have known the storm was coming when the clouds are big and black. And you know what? In the end i may as well let the rain come down and enjoy the circus of people.

You can sense sometimes when something is changing or you know when people can help you but they just don't fucking want to. I am sick of chasing, as i said, this is my time to shine and i will make the most out of it. I will set myself ablaze and i will take off like a shinning star, writing my own spectacular script, the way i want to, with the people i want to. And i have enough of them.

I like this one very much.

Along that bombshell, have a good day Sweden!

Update: Have you ever got so angry that you started saying things you don't mean? Or you made that racist joke just because your friend laughs at them? Do you always ignore warnings and take everything 100% seriously? Do you consider social skills a woman shitting in the forest in front of everyone in Sweden? Deal with it and take everything with a grain of salt.

Oops i ranted again - Living costs and F-bombs in Uppsala

My nickname should be night-owl, nightcrawler or something along these lines. I like to be in the dark, i study better in the dark, i play and write in the dark. And then i regret it in the morning and die on my uncomfortable bed.

I also had a presentation on statistics today which was done in 30 minutes with Jaime. So you can guess how basic it was.

"Hi, i am Kostas, i did this that and that, put some really incomprehensible graphs that made me cry like a little baby when i was making them, results are these and more research is needed."

After finally receiving a couple of comments on the last post i will address them here. Let's get going!

The comment was "tell us if everyday life, university and people there are what you expected before going and how much has your opinion changed now."

How can someone not appreciate this scenery?

First i will talk about what i expected before coming here. Everyone asks me why i chose Sweden.

• Best place to make a family
• Society respects you
• Multicultural with many greek expats
• Great salaries and strong economy
• Great quality of life
• Great education system
• Less corruption

Ok about the last one who am i kidding, i guess only Nigeria has more. Now what did i find here?

There is absolutely no regret over my decision, it was the correct one. The salaries are indeed outstanding, the economy is strong and the people are friendly (though reserved). The influx of Mediterraneans also makes it  feel like home some times in Uppsala.

But what about the things that i found completely different from what i expected?

• Monthly life is cheap in Uppsala, mainly due to the student nations offering affordable prices. Stockholm can be extremely expensive. I find myself spending 600-700 euros monthly without starving or staying at home all day. I will break this down later. However if you decide to go all out on fun and entertainment as i did on the first month you will soon find a hole in your pocket.
• The education is indeed great and they are always there for anything you need.
• My master's is absolutely atrocious. From the way the classes are structured, to my fellow students, to the teachers. I will go into detailed extent later as well. The bottom line is i expected more from a top 80 university in the world.
• The Swedes are cool people and will help you with anything, however i just don't feel like i want to meet them or get to know them.
• The women in Sweden are 10's and the women in Greece are 6's. True but i find them absolutely boring. I will pass. Swedes are absolutely shit at pick up as well. Extroverts have no competition here.
• I did not expect everyone to be so liberated in a fashion sense. Do you want to dress as a lobster? A ninja? A giant ball-sack? You can here sir, yes you can.
• I believed due to how equal people are here that i would see a lot of homosexual men and women here. However they are very subtle and discreet unless you are in a terrible Flogsta party and everyone is smashed. What i mean is i have not seen extreme stuff in public that someone not so open-minded might find offensive.
• Swedes speak great English but when they have to right i want to gouge my eyes out with a pitchfork. Along the lines of "give a birth to your own daughter".
• The music is absofuckinglutely shit. And the way kids dance here will make you get popcorn from the local movies and laugh at the C-movie on your live screen.
• Talking about music, for all of the Nordic countries and their death/black/heavy metal roots and bands there is not a single bar/pub that plays that sort of music. At least in Uppsala. And that makes me a very sad panda.
• The roads are so slippery and you will fall down or slide like a penguin many many times. I got offered a great bike by Jaime but last time i slid down for 15 meters outside his house. Finland at least is covered in snow all the time, not ice.
• The weather is not bad. This so far has been the best winter i have ever had. No rain, no showers, no humidity to penetrate my bones. The temperatures are more stable around the 0 mark which is ok, while on Greece we have havoc right now.

I believe that answers your questions Stavros and i will go in depth now. Also my love to Thessaloniki, i miss being there and in Anw Toumba.

Now i will make a breakdown of the economic side of living here in Uppsala.

	My Costs	Average Costs
Rent	310	350-400
Food	200	200
Entertainment	50	100-150
Personal needs	50	50-100
University	0	0-50
Transport	55	0-55
Total (in euros)	665	700-955

To be more precise. I have found a great house with a great rent. Most houses here cost a bit more than mine. I make my own food and i visit the supermarket every 3 days. I spend around 15-20 euros per visit. I don't go out that much but i visit pubs with my friends or i eat Jaime's expensive salmon at his house. As you will probably be a student you will spend more at MAX fast food and dirty burgers that are delicious. Personal needs revolve around clothing, things that need to be fixed or replaced, unexpected costs etc. University costs nothing for me yet but it could cost a bit during times because some of the textbooks have to be bought or you will rent them through the library. In Uppsala everyone uses a bike. I don't because it's shit. No thanks. A bike like Marley will cost you around 30-50 euros while a better one around 100 euros. The monthly bus card for students costs 55 euros and if you decide to simply charge it it costs 2 euros per bus ride (2,5 if you use a credit/debit card). So if you have your daddy to sponsor you you are looking at the 900's and if you are an extra saver you can make it probably with 500-600 euros per month. Not so shabby isn't it? The best thing is that heating, internet, water, everything is included in your rent.

Bread will cost you from 1 to 3 euros depending on the quality, while sometimes they offer discounts if you buy two. Milk will cost you less than a euro and for 1.5 you can buy four cups of greek yogurt with honey. Bottled water is expensive around 1.5 euros but tap water is very good here. A homemade pizza will cost 2.5 euros and for less than 1 you can get the students favorite dish, pasta. A beer on a local student nation will cost from 2.5 euros to 3.5 and 5-10 depending on quality and origin in a normal pub. Pizza will cost around 7.5 euros. Going to the movies is expensive and you usually have to book a place. It costs around 12 euros for a seat. The quality is great though. Entering a nightclub has an age restriction at some places, from 21 to 25+. If you go to a studentnation club and you are not a member expect to pay 6-12 euros for the entrance. Coffee is shitty french filter and costs around 1 euro. Not bad is it?

Enough with the economic stuff. It reminds me of maths and that dreaded statistics course i have next week. University time.

The facilities are state of the art. There is no doubt about that. Everything is recycled and extremely clean. There are kitchens to make your food, multiple toilets with separate for disabled people. A cheap coffee/food place and decent computer rooms and labs. The library is quiet and great with a vast selection of books.

The staff is very friendly, polite and understanding. I found myself visiting the student adviser many times and she was always comforting or trying to assist me and find solutions to my problems. And boy i had many. The teachers are flexible with their deadlines and they will understand if you have a problem. The teachers are also fairly young, some have a good sense of humor and they will use colorful illustrations and cartoons so you understand something better.

Now for the bad stuff. When i start a completely strange new class that requires me to master a program i have no clue about and just thrusts you in the action, then teaches you this program on the next course next semester, there is something wrong here. Apparently the baboon that manages the course decided to go hunt polar bears and live with Mr. Poppers penguins in Antarctica so they switched the course. Not cool.

When i am in a master program classified as top 80 in the World and they expect from me to be punctual and proofread my essays and assignments, i expect the same from them. When the teacher fires up the lecture and on the first page you see something like "intrsuments" or "lithopshere" or "very crash, very sad" you wonder why do they expect it from you. Some teachers i have speak atrocious english. We are taking about making weird meditation sounds after ending a phrase or some ear-bleeding accent that will keep you unfocused.

Now while we have some great teachers, we also have some terrible choices. We had an asshole that tried to enforce his biased opinion about real researchers and phd's and how we master students are only motivated by money and we don't do true research. I got into a really heated discussion with him. Well fuck you Ala Al Muhadir Jihad or what the fuck was your name. There was no place to send our report, no feedback, no response from the teacher who was absent probably shoving dark matter in his asshole.

The other statistics course? We had to wait until 5 days before the exam to understand what we actually have to read for it. It was terrible. Oh also remember the course i told you about with the penguin man? Our supervisor sent us a mail 2 months after the course ended and said "I can't accept your paper". She corrected our mistakes and told us to be more formal and write better english while she is in need of some serious grammar lessons. Also fuck you Holger you are an idiot for leaving that phrase in our report. Did i mention that the 5th person of that report is missing baking cakes and dressing up as a cat? Fuck you too.

Well i think this concludes everything. To sum up, it has been a great experience coming here and i don't regret it. I think i will have a bright future here and so will you, potential reader if you decide to join me here. And if you do, send me a pm and we will go out for a fika. I did expect the level of teaching to be better. But i am getting valuable life lessons so far and how to deal in a group with complete imbeciles.

As always, please leave me a comment, subscribe, like and share! Also any more suggestions regarding future posts are greatly welcome!

Until we meet again, Goodnight Sweden.

10 kisses to keep you warm

He had a surprise for her. It was time for him to leave, on August 29th, 2008. He could see it in her eyes that she was sad, ready to weep and cry. They were strolling around the White Tower of Thessaloniki on what was a rare cool evening in the summer. They sat on the marble benches that occupy that area right next to small compartments of green with trees and the saltiness of the sea in the gulf of Thermaikos.

The area was full of tourists and many of them were french. He started teasing them with a weird french accent that sounded more like a greek peasant and she was giggling all evening, covering her face with her right hand as always, trying to choke the laughter that would make people turn their heads.

There were also many people trying to sell stuff, from phones, to back-scratchers (who goes on a walk and says: "Ohhh! Let's buy a remote control, or a wooden stick to scratch my back alone!"....). Tip of the day. Not very legitimate.

Seriously???

 

After becoming tired of their approaches from the corner, he remembered a funny line our National Star Andrew Euaggelopoulos said and decided it would be smart to use it on the next salesman. Poor guy comes close and before he opens his mouth..

"No thank you we don't want anything you sell", Kostas says.

While the salesman leaves, he turns around and tells Alyx:

"See how i killed him there in the corner so fast?"

Funny eh Kostas? Salesman was some sort of Bulgarian descent and he heard him, turns around and says commandingly "Do you think you are funny little man?"

"Noooothing nothing kind sir", he replies and luckily for him, Hasan leaves.

Now he had to relieve that pressure and the awkwardness, so he decided to let her know he was staying for one extra day.

"I'm staying untill the 31st, i want to spend one more day with you, i don't want to leave", tells her awaiting for her response.

Pupils dilated, her grip tightened, an overflowing string of happy emotions taking over her. His arm around her shoulders, brought together to stop her from getting cold.

"The days have passed so fast, you are leaving soon, what next? This was like a kite", she says.

"This kite loves you", he replies.

"You said a big word", she says.

"One word i will keep", he says with a soothing but assertive voice, looking into her eyes, stroking her hair.

Last day came, August 31th, their soon to be anniversary for years to come. He booked his ticket in the local train station, time 01:51 am. Then went out to meet her. She was late as usual. He must have heard crawling by Linkin Park at least 5 times untill she showed up. But he didn't care. He would savour the moment. He was scared but he had to make his move, open up and show his true feelings.

The walked around and stopped at their usual spot, right outside her school, where they spent almost every night sitting on a steel bench using an orange fiat punto. They sit, she always on his right and fired up their favorite song, Sleeping Sun by Nightwish, the band that was the reason they met.

 

First picture together.

 

Time flied by, and he was about to make his move.

"I don't want to leave, but i would like you to give me a present", he says.

"Like what?", she replies.

"How about a kiss for the road?", it was his last chance.

She says nothing, looking straight ahead, clearly thinking what bumpy road follows ahead. She turns her head, leans in and kisses him, both hands on his cheeks, caughting him offguard, surprised pleasantly. They kiss for a minute, time flies by. Finally some idiots in a passing car shouted "Go easy on the girl!", so they stop and giggle together, hands holding, each feeling eachothers taste and smell. Engulfed by passion and desire they kissed 6 more times, each longer than the previous one. It was magical, passionate, engrossing.

He had to leave, so he took her home. On the way they stopped below the balcony of one of her friends, Claudia. She chatted with her for a bit and then kissed him 2 more times, like she was showing off her prized asset to her friend and the world. They stopped at her door. A door he was bound to see many more times.

They hugged like the end of the world was near, their bodies becoming one, hips, thighs, chest united. He stroked her hair and her right cheek and gave her one final kiss.

"I will be back for you, i want you in my life", he said.

"Those were 10 presents to keep you warm untill you get back", she replied almost ready to cry.

He was on the way to the train, and they were texting back and forth all the time. She always mixed Orpheas the musician with Morpheus, the god of dreams. So he teased her by saying that Orpheas will keep her safe untill they met again. He still keeps the texts, one of them saying "I miss you already i am crying" and his reply "I can still feel your heart beating down my chest".

He arrives on the train station, ready to embark on his greatest journey yet. He was not sure untill he saw the name of the train. It was called Orpheas.

No coincidence.

Happiness is a horse

As you have probably noticed, i have been writing lately parts of my memoirs, fragments of a diary i kept for almost five years, spanning an incredible 852 pages. A friend of mine joked recently that i should make a movie and we will win a Cannes festival golden phoenix. And because the days and the date right now are special for me, i will write a bit more of that instead of all things swedish. And i prefer that instead of forcing my self to write about a topic that is not in my thoughts right now and will not satisfy me or have the desired impact.

This fragment shows how to keep a relationship alive and interesting, with small spontaneous gestures that go a long way and will be remembered for life. There is no need for a sleight of hand or to be able to pull a rabbit out of the hat every time.

This is so true.

Two painful months had passed and it was time for them to meet again. Living 300 miles apart means a relationship is tested on a daily basis. And making the most out of your scarce meetings.

It was a cloudy December day in Mytilene, and he was driving to the airport in a rented blue Kia Picanto. The engine was coughing by the frequent use, the right window was malfuctioning and the seats were uncomfortable. I remember the licencing plate was 3562.

As he was driving along the coast to the airport he was gazing at the sky, looking for an airplane, knowing that she would be inside and they would finally hug and let go of all things evil. Everytime they were together it was like they were engulfed in a magic bubble, a divine shield that repelled everything bad, evil, washed all their problems like a shower purifies your skin and body.

He finally arrived and went eagerly in the waiting room of the airport.

"The flight from Thessaloniki to Mytilene airport has just arrived", the announcer said.

The machine that brings the luggage starts working and he starts looking around for signs of Alexandra. Five minutes pass, and there she is. Cute and sweet, as he remembered her, wearing her trademark jeans and shoes and her black casual jacket, dragging a massive suitcase like she brough her entire furniture along. But he was used to it, and most importantly, he did not care.

They hug for a minute, time stops, emotions like a meteor shower. They kiss like it's their first time. He picks up her suitcase and she follows him to the car. She looks so happy. He looks happier. He always did untill the end.

I felt like this everytime we met for almost five years.

They get in the car, it's around 6:43 and he waits for the road to clear to turn left. He takes a longer time because he does not want anything bad to happen to her.

"It's clear come on, let's go!", she giggles, making light fun of him.

"I never want anything bad to happen to you, that's why i wait", he replies calmly.

She silences and looks at him with that look that say's "I love you", and he starts driving back. His hand always reaching out for her's, changing gears together. One day he would teach her how to drive.

Two miles from the airport he see's a sign on the left. It reads "Aiolos Horses". He has an injection of adrenaline and excitement. She hadn't seen the sign. He turns left, the road was small for one car, little houses scattered left and right, white with tiny roofs and flowers surrounding the upcoming forest. He see's a sign to move right, then left, then up the hill inside the forest. They come at a crossroad and he follows his instincs and turns left again. He feels a little lost, there are expensive houses and protection dogs around. But he keeps going for 500 meters and suddenly the ground changes from tarmac to rocky with a lot of dirt. He goes really slow but he can sense that they are getting nearer.

Then they hear it. A commanding neigh. Her blood freezes. Her senses tingling, trying to absorb any information. She is not sure if what she heard is real or just a product of her long desire. She hadn't been near horses for 15 years, and from what she told him and seen through pictures, she was a natural. He made her a promise back then, that he would take her once again to see her favorite animals. And he would keep all of his promises...

He drives around the bend and they witness an amazing little stable with 4 horses, one of them a really small one. The other two, majestic. A real stallion called Demis and a mare called Annie a pinto horse that reminded me of a cow. They were a joy to behold. It was sunday so the stable was closed, but i picked up the number near the gate when two beautiful german shepherd dogs started barking protectively. We would come back the next day. She was crying the whole ride home, holding his hand firmly. He felt so special and he never wanted to let her go. He wanted to be there for her and present the opportunity to do everything she never could but desired. Financial problems can be a bitch.

We would come back many many times.

She though that they went there just to see the stable. So next morning he arranged a meeting in secret with the owner to have a journey through the forest untill the hilltop.

"Get ready we are going somewhere", he says assertively.

Her heart starts pumping with anticipation not knowing what she will encounter but she feels sheer excitement and passion when she sees the familiar road leading to the stable.

He parks, locks the car. The ground was a bit muddy from last night's rain, but it felt more natural. Stavros, the owner, comes and greets us and opens the small steely grey door. She immediately starts observing the area, as she always did when she was in a new uknown place, trying to acclimatize. Then she let out a shriek and galloped towards the horses, patting them, hugging them, sobbing and full of excitement and happiness.

 Saddam had just arrived from Holland.

He was a little afraid but once he got on top of the horse he felt more comfortable. She jumped on it like not a single day had passed and proceeded to the nearest exit. They started their mountain climb. The smell of fresh air was invigorating, forests, horses, stables everywhere, little runlets and streams sprouting out of the rocks.

Much more comfortable

         He looked a bit out of sorts.

After around 50 minutes they arrived at the top, took pictures and gasped at the scenery. Breathtaking. Then they started their descent, but from a different road, making it even more exciting.
Back at the stable, she did not want to leave. She looked with melancholy, but speaking into their souls. Then hugs him and he reassures her they will be back.

Poor thing was injured.

On the way home, she stares outside the window, their hands never let go on the whole trip.

"You are the best thing that has ever happened to me", he says.

"I will never leave you and our love will stay strong through the ages", words spoken with passion, desire and love.

And she looked outside the window again, reliving her dream day.

Driving along the coastline.

You only love twice

He just got off the bus stop at Ag. Varvaras church in Thessaloniki. A cold shiver went down his spine. There was an old lady with skin withered and beaten by age and hardship and a boy around 10 years old, wearing a black t-shirt, yellow pants and brown shoes.

"The fashion police is deffo going to get him" he giggled inside. 

It was a shitty joke, but good enough to calm his growing nerves. Trembling with anticipation he looked around to see her. Nowhere to be found. Suddenly he thought, will i recognise her? Even though they had a video call more than once every single day for the past 2 months the anxiety crept in, forcing him unable to think clearly.

20 million Euros per year and Messi can't buy a decent costume.

He sat down on the outskirts of the church, on a brick stand waiting. A sudden gaze on the right. Walking, no gliding, could see into her soul. He was in for a hell of a ride of love, passion and pain. Looked into her eyes, she was equally anxious, looking, searching. Her hair were dark brown, moving like silk in the smooth breeze of the atmosphere.

Blue jeens, black shoes and his soon to be favorite blouse, yellow with green and a big green knot on the back. She reminded him of a butterfly, placcidly moving around, ignoring danger, flying from flower to flower.

Equally beautiful in his mind.

He hid behind another person, fat enough to need two seatbelts to manage to strap on. Watching her every move below his elbows. She grew impatient, and he was stunned to make the approach. She finally picked up her phone and called him. Funny how she was 20 feet away.

"Eee, hey!", he replies.

"Hhhey! I am waiting by the church, where are you?", she replies.

"I am at the church too, i can't see you!", he tries to deceive here to regain his composure.

They tilt their heads forward, both at the same time. Their gaze meets. An awkward moment is followed by some giggling and some laughter. She sits there waiting for him. He tries to walk as cool as he can, probably looking like an idiot, like those drunk people that pretend everything's cool and they walk in 8's.

Not like this but it was funny enough to include.

They kiss on each cheek, he can smell her hair and her perfume. She always wore Nina Richie or Escada. Immediately he starts his jokes, past experiences from last week, before he did the unthinkable and travelled 1000 km's just to meet a person he had never seen upclose, with no friends to support him for a whole week. He just crashed at the Holiday Inn Hotel in Thessaloniki and went out to find her.

More jokes, getting the banter and the rapport going. He even did his hydraulic dance for her. And he has no idea how to dance. Tension is building, but he is too scared to make a move. After all she is the first girl he ever felt so powerfully attracted to.

There is nothing like first love. You have never had any of those feelings before. Your brain and your existence thinks that nobody ever has felt this way before about anyone. It creates profound emotions in us, marked by the experiences we share with that person that manages to steal your heart for the very first time. Memories of that person will never fade through time an space. They are carved into your brain and your heart like those pictures you could take instantly with those old Polaroid cameras. They are blurry and black in the start, but once the image and the details appear, they stay there forever. At that time you are not thinking of the possibility that you may break up because first love is filled with the optimism that you will both be together for ever. That love can forge a bond stronger than the foundations of the earth, enough to last forever.

Maybe next time it will be my lucky one.