Showing posts with label passion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label passion. Show all posts

Saturday, March 17, 2018

"Love passes with love"

Isn't that right Sarah? I don't know if you found it, but I can still see you.

Everything is alright. Everything is going to be alright. 

The land of tears is mysterious. I visited her often, and that's on me.
Every time i get lost inside my thoughts..I get crazy...
It is not nice...

I do not laugh often. I am like ice, waiting to break. My love was stood up in the Airport to Canada.
I shut my self in isolation, saving strength in my heart for my metamorphosis.
I learned to give love, don't be afraid. I will be there if you need me, remember that...
I never pretended, I never played with feelings and I have a reason for that.
Remember, I will be with you to the end of the line, I will be next to you if you stay close to me.
Every time that I get lost, I come back and tread and i wipe out the fears so you are not afraid.

Everyone that wants to stay close to me and give love, stand by me to pass all the difficulties together,
to harness love and kill the fear.
I seek love, passion, scorching hot hugs and kisses..
Don't fuck my heart, I am just a kid...

I have wounds by so many,
my Aurora, you got lost, my friend, you got lost...
I write whatever I feel, sorry but I cannot hold it back...
Show me a sign....show me at least that there is still something left...show me, so I can close this chapter...

Don't cry...everything is going to be ok. Don't be scared. I am with you to the end of the line..

Kostas

Monday, April 21, 2014

Happiness is a horse

As you have probably noticed, i have been writing lately parts of my memoirs, fragments of a diary i kept for almost five years, spanning an incredible 852 pages. A friend of mine joked recently that i should make a movie and we will win a Cannes festival golden phoenix. And because the days and the date right now are special for me, i will write a bit more of that instead of all things swedish. And i prefer that instead of forcing my self to write about a topic that is not in my thoughts right now and will not satisfy me or have the desired impact.

This fragment shows how to keep a relationship alive and interesting, with small spontaneous gestures that go a long way and will be remembered for life. There is no need for a sleight of hand or to be able to pull a rabbit out of the hat every time.




This is so true.

Two painful months had passed and it was time for them to meet again. Living 300 miles apart means a relationship is tested on a daily basis. And making the most out of your scarce meetings.

It was a cloudy December day in Mytilene, and he was driving to the airport in a rented blue Kia Picanto. The engine was coughing by the frequent use, the right window was malfuctioning and the seats were uncomfortable. I remember the licencing plate was 3562.

As he was driving along the coast to the airport he was gazing at the sky, looking for an airplane, knowing that she would be inside and they would finally hug and let go of all things evil. Everytime they were together it was like they were engulfed in a magic bubble, a divine shield that repelled everything bad, evil, washed all their problems like a shower purifies your skin and body.

He finally arrived and went eagerly in the waiting room of the airport.

"The flight from Thessaloniki to Mytilene airport has just arrived", the announcer said.

The machine that brings the luggage starts working and he starts looking around for signs of Alexandra. Five minutes pass, and there she is. Cute and sweet, as he remembered her, wearing her trademark jeans and shoes and her black casual jacket, dragging a massive suitcase like she brough her entire furniture along. But he was used to it, and most importantly, he did not care.

They hug for a minute, time stops, emotions like a meteor shower. They kiss like it's their first time. He picks up her suitcase and she follows him to the car. She looks so happy. He looks happier. He always did untill the end.

I felt like this everytime we met for almost five years.

They get in the car, it's around 6:43 and he waits for the road to clear to turn left. He takes a longer time because he does not want anything bad to happen to her.

"It's clear come on, let's go!", she giggles, making light fun of him.

"I never want anything bad to happen to you, that's why i wait", he replies calmly.

She silences and looks at him with that look that say's "I love you", and he starts driving back. His hand always reaching out for her's, changing gears together. One day he would teach her how to drive.

Two miles from the airport he see's a sign on the left. It reads "Aiolos Horses". He has an injection of adrenaline and excitement. She hadn't seen the sign. He turns left, the road was small for one car, little houses scattered left and right, white with tiny roofs and flowers surrounding the upcoming forest. He see's a sign to move right, then left, then up the hill inside the forest. They come at a crossroad and he follows his instincs and turns left again. He feels a little lost, there are expensive houses and protection dogs around. But he keeps going for 500 meters and suddenly the ground changes from tarmac to rocky with a lot of dirt. He goes really slow but he can sense that they are getting nearer.

Then they hear it. A commanding neigh. Her blood freezes. Her senses tingling, trying to absorb any information. She is not sure if what she heard is real or just a product of her long desire. She hadn't been near horses for 15 years, and from what she told him and seen through pictures, she was a natural. He made her a promise back then, that he would take her once again to see her favorite animals. And he would keep all of his promises...

He drives around the bend and they witness an amazing little stable with 4 horses, one of them a really small one. The other two, majestic. A real stallion called Demis and a mare called Annie a pinto horse that reminded me of a cow. They were a joy to behold. It was sunday so the stable was closed, but i picked up the number near the gate when two beautiful german shepherd dogs started barking protectively. We would come back the next day. She was crying the whole ride home, holding his hand firmly. He felt so special and he never wanted to let her go. He wanted to be there for her and present the opportunity to do everything she never could but desired. Financial problems can be a bitch.



We would come back many many times.

She though that they went there just to see the stable. So next morning he arranged a meeting in secret with the owner to have a journey through the forest untill the hilltop.

"Get ready we are going somewhere", he says assertively.

Her heart starts pumping with anticipation not knowing what she will encounter but she feels sheer excitement and passion when she sees the familiar road leading to the stable.

He parks, locks the car. The ground was a bit muddy from last night's rain, but it felt more natural. Stavros, the owner, comes and greets us and opens the small steely grey door. She immediately starts observing the area, as she always did when she was in a new uknown place, trying to acclimatize. Then she let out a shriek and galloped towards the horses, patting them, hugging them, sobbing and full of excitement and happiness.




 Saddam had just arrived from Holland.

He was a little afraid but once he got on top of the horse he felt more comfortable. She jumped on it like not a single day had passed and proceeded to the nearest exit. They started their mountain climb. The smell of fresh air was invigorating, forests, horses, stables everywhere, little runlets and streams sprouting out of the rocks.


Much more comfortable

         He looked a bit out of sorts.


After around 50 minutes they arrived at the top, took pictures and gasped at the scenery. Breathtaking. Then they started their descent, but from a different road, making it even more exciting.
Back at the stable, she did not want to leave. She looked with melancholy, but speaking into their souls. Then hugs him and he reassures her they will be back.

Poor thing was injured.

On the way home, she stares outside the window, their hands never let go on the whole trip.

"You are the best thing that has ever happened to me", he says.

"I will never leave you and our love will stay strong through the ages", words spoken with passion, desire and love.

And she looked outside the window again, reliving her dream day.

Driving along the coastline.

Friday, April 18, 2014

You only love twice

He just got off the bus stop at Ag. Varvaras church in Thessaloniki. A cold shiver went down his spine. There was an old lady with skin withered and beaten by age and hardship and a boy around 10 years old, wearing a black t-shirt, yellow pants and brown shoes.

"The fashion police is deffo going to get him" he giggled inside. 

It was a shitty joke, but good enough to calm his growing nerves. Trembling with anticipation he looked around to see her. Nowhere to be found. Suddenly he thought, will i recognise her? Even though they had a video call more than once every single day for the past 2 months the anxiety crept in, forcing him unable to think clearly.

20 million Euros per year and Messi can't buy a decent costume.

He sat down on the outskirts of the church, on a brick stand waiting. A sudden gaze on the right. Walking, no gliding, could see into her soul. He was in for a hell of a ride of love, passion and pain. Looked into her eyes, she was equally anxious, looking, searching. Her hair were dark brown, moving like silk in the smooth breeze of the atmosphere.

Blue jeens, black shoes and his soon to be favorite blouse, yellow with green and a big green knot on the back. She reminded him of a butterfly, placcidly moving around, ignoring danger, flying from flower to flower.

Equally beautiful in his mind.

He hid behind another person, fat enough to need two seatbelts to manage to strap on. Watching her every move below his elbows. She grew impatient, and he was stunned to make the approach. She finally picked up her phone and called him. Funny how she was 20 feet away.

"Eee, hey!", he replies.

"Hhhey! I am waiting by the church, where are you?", she replies.

"I am at the church too, i can't see you!", he tries to deceive here to regain his composure.

They tilt their heads forward, both at the same time. Their gaze meets. An awkward moment is followed by some giggling and some laughter. She sits there waiting for him. He tries to walk as cool as he can, probably looking like an idiot, like those drunk people that pretend everything's cool and they walk in 8's.

Not like this but it was funny enough to include.

They kiss on each cheek, he can smell her hair and her perfume. She always wore Nina Richie or Escada. Immediately he starts his jokes, past experiences from last week, before he did the unthinkable and travelled 1000 km's just to meet a person he had never seen upclose, with no friends to support him for a whole week. He just crashed at the Holiday Inn Hotel in Thessaloniki and went out to find her.

More jokes, getting the banter and the rapport going. He even did his hydraulic dance for her. And he has no idea how to dance. Tension is building, but he is too scared to make a move. After all she is the first girl he ever felt so powerfully attracted to.

There is nothing like first love. You have never had any of those feelings before. Your brain and your existence thinks that nobody ever has felt this way before about anyone. It creates profound emotions in us, marked by the experiences we share with that person that manages to steal your heart for the very first time. Memories of that person will never fade through time an space. They are carved into your brain and your heart like those pictures you could take instantly with those old Polaroid cameras. They are blurry and black in the start, but once the image and the details appear, they stay there forever. At that time you are not thinking of the possibility that you may break up because first love is filled with the optimism that you will both be together for ever. That love can forge a bond stronger than the foundations of the earth, enough to last forever.

Maybe next time it will be my lucky one.