Destination Uppsala - The journey begins

Pack your things and move here.

Like seriously.

The weather is crap. I admit. But i expected it to be worse actually. It's the 23rd of August and i'm sitting here in my cozy new house preparing for a beer in the Norrlands Nation. And i am reflecting on what i saw so far today. Let's make a recap of what to expect.

I sat there on the single-gate terminal of Kalamata, waiting for flight 438 to commence boarding. Around me there were mostly swedish people, exactly what i expected of them too. Polite, low-profile but very loving with their children. There was also a guy that looked like the last samurai making changes in a 3d house in some sort of program. Blondes, blue eyes, generally skinny and tall.

I chatted a bit with some greek people i met there and i did not even think that the moment i stepped my foot outside i was an immigrant, that there was the point of no return.

The aircraft was an Airbus 319 with around 138 passengers and was like 99% full. Pretty impressive for a town of 60000 people like Kalamata.

I sat next to a swedish couple that were cuddling during the whole flight while i was watching outside the window, watching half of the Avengers movie, eating some half-baked wannabe bread with strawberry, listening to some music.

When i heard about the upcoming landing i dropped everything i was doing and was staggered from what i witnessed from the window.

Breathtaking landscapes, vast forests with tall trees, a lung of fresh air and escape from normality, so wild yet so tamed and peaceful. There were no wolves in this picture, apart from a few ravaged pieces of land attacked by mankind.

Then we landed at Arlanda Airport. It reminded me of an older version of Eleutherios Venizelos airport of Greece. I saw a big Ethiopian airliner and thought i would be scared to fly with it. Our aircraft actually made a very annoying noise from the left engine, but the flight was one of the smoothest i have been in. Thanks Cap.

I went at terminal 5 to pick up my luggage, they arrived around 10 minutes in and i was the only one left since i had to exchange my money into SEK from Euros. The old lady in the cashier seemed annoyed and confounded that i had only an ID card and not a passport.

I took the wrong turn, fired up my trusty tablet, sent a few messages and went outside to the welcome committee. Two girls, one swedish and one German, joined later by an Australian one. I took the necessary info, got to the cafe next and picked up my first Swedish filter coffee for 35 SEK. Quite cheap for an airport compared to our prices if you want my opinion.

My first fika!

So i met two exchange students, Phillip from Singapore and Maddie from Midlands in England. We had some friendly banter and then proceeded to the van that would take us to one of the nations to get started. They call the vans shuttles actually.

We got in and there we were, like 10 greeks, waiting in line for an internet account (which i did not need), a temporary ID student card, some information, a welcome package and a telephone sim card.

I signed up for the shuttle to take me home, then went a small walk into town to pick up a bus refillable card. You cant buy tickets here, nor pay with cash. So buy a ticket!

The town was staggering, the architecture of the buildings, giving a medieval look to the town. The streets were clean, bike lanes in both ways, a couple of beggars a stark contrast to the misery of Athens.

The whole town is like this. Breathtaking.

I bought my ticket, went back to the nation, and got in with some people into the shuttle to drive us home. All but me disembarked in Flogsta. I only remember one Bulgarian woman and one from Australia, Perth, where my favorite band, Pendulum resides. A dude called Alexander was driving us around, he is originated from a small swedish town of 5000 people, but he also has greek roots, from his uncles side methinks.

He told me some stories about the Flogsta scream and how it was used to relieve stress from the exams every Wednesday at 10 pm, but now they do it every night, while he also made fun of the stress factor since everything is way too "xalara" here.

So he dropped me at my new house, where an old lady with memory issues opened the door and had no recollection of my impending arrival. She was polite and nice, i showed her an email that confirmed my room and started unpacking. A nice room, a clean house.

Now i m all set, about to go for a beer. Because i can.

Laters! Welcome to Uppsala!

Welcome to the future, today

“Welcome to the future, today.”

He had just landed on the big stage, flying on his Exo-Suit, in front of a thousand people. They all had gathered around to watch the invention that would “redefine humanity”. The tech that would change the lives of many, improve, sustain, develop.

Yet he casually flew down. It was like riding his bike to school or just walking subconsciously towards home sweet home. As he walked down the wooden floor, the suit started to retract, while the thrusters and the mechanical palms fumed from the tantalizing heat.

First the arms, retracting behind his back, showing off his skinny hands and glimpses of an expensive tailor made black suit. Then the legs and the waist support, looking so fluid as they turned into a solid mass of metal behind his back, resembling a metallic suitcase that glowed bright red.

He looked at the audience with eyes wide open, a strong glare and determination that could pierce through the strongest of spirits. Project Hercules was born.

“Today we are showing off Project Hercules, a device that will change the shape of humanity.”

“Made from carbon fiber, enriched with crystal titanium and carbon carbon, it has immense potential.”

“Actions speak louder than words, so let me demonstrate instead, rather than showing you a interesting presentation that satisfies only lust and fantasy.”

His words echoed like a grenade in the room. He was brimming with confidence and they could tell.

He was holding 3 small silver balls in his hands, in the shape of a small nut. He played with them for a few seconds, then threw them to the ground.

They stuck on each other, and then the suit started to power on again. It looked like a robot, with legs firmly rooted on the ground and arms streched open, with a gaping hole in the middle. It was big enough for a human to get inside and be engulfed from steel and thunder.

He got inside. The arms closed. The legs too. The chest was barely visible after the pieces were bolted automatically, while a light blue glass covered his eyes. The disk on his back glowed green, it looked like a spinal cord made of bright green liquid.

“Maximum strength!”, he said with a booming voice.

The disk on his back spinned to the right, turning into dark passion red. He looked bulked up, like the god of war ready to unleash fury on his opponents. The screws and the metallic ropes tightened when he turned his attention to a small car that was hiding in the scene. Just a little everyday car from the 70’s, with sticky plastic seats, no air-conditioning, a coughing engine and a windshield battered from the air and rain.

He grabs the car from beneath. Then, to the amazement of everyone in the room he just picks it up like a toy and lifts it up above his head.

“Titanic Strength. Similar to how Atlas of the Greek Mythology was holding the world on his shoulders, you can have immense strength with Project Hercules, making the hardest of tasks a simple everyday deed.”

Whispers amongst the shadows, small talk and discussion between the audience. Amazement and fear in the atmosphere, you could smell it in the air, like the scent that’s left after the storm.

Everything is going according to plan. He is there, in front of all those people, feeling confident, with a car hovering above his head, light as a balloon.

What is going on? The scenery is fading. The walls crumble like paper, being blown away by the wind like ashes, the clear faces of the people around being turned into faceless voids, his feet trembling beneath the burden of reality, his hands shaking from the problems of humanity. He looks up and knows this is the time. It’s his harajuku moment. 

He falls on his knees. There is no strength here. He is losing the signal. The car starts to drop down on his head, sulking him into the abyss.

He wakes up sweaty, with a shiver sent up his spine, hearing a horrible noise, like a ticking bomb. There’s no suit to protect him, nothing to cure him off the headache and the pain that will follow up. He is no hero, no mastermind, no evil genius to take the world by storm. Yet…

The sound is the alarm clock, the headache is his father’s voice calling him for work, his sheets on the floor, leaving him vulnerable.

Reluctantly he picks up his glasses. He slams the clock. He wears a beat down white shirt with holes that used to be yellow, a pair of jeans and his trusty old destroyed sneakers. He coughs and leaves a breath, equal to the sounds of a thousand dead whispering their problems through the air. He stands up and heads to the exit door.

Snap back to reality Kostas. It’s time to go to work.

Welcome to Greece Kostas. 5 more days.

6 days, Interviews, new friends and ungrateful people

Welcome to Greece.

Where corruption and ungrateful people prosper and grow like weed in your garden.

I have been relatively busy in the past few weeks because of my work. That's 4 am - 20:00 pm. 5-6 days a week. Enjoying summer like a boss. It's been a whirlwind too. Where to start from? From my boss/co-owner? From the miserable heat that plagues this country? The humidity or the never ending coughing from going in and out of fridges?

I hate trucks. I really do. You know, those pesky 7.5t ones that drive like an old Zastava Yugo Gt? Oh and the horn. I'd rather gouge my own eyes with a fork than to hear it again. But with 6 days left until my dream move to Sweden, i can handle everything.

You know what's the difference between a Yugo and a Yugo Gt?

............

The lighter works in the Gt version.

A typical day with the driver.

"Look at that crazy stupid mal@ka trying to drive". while he overtakes 2 vehicles smashes the side mirror on an olive tree.

"This woman is crazy, most likely pchyzophrenic". Fast forward 2 minutes.

"You ignorant baboon get off the road, no wash the dishes without noise. If you want to hear music loudly go to the mountain. You are a f@$k a mal$#a and my f#$@g mother that was being f@$ed, and the f#$@#g universities and the professors they can all s@#k my d#$k.

My usual response is always being calm throwing the occasional irritating phrase, such as the war is over, we won, you can come home, or who put you up? Gorbachev?

Welcome to hot Greece.

The heat. The humidity. We had like 42 Celcius for the past week. I have a low tolerance for heat. Thank you Sweden. Please have my babies and i will change my surname to Svensson.

Oh i did swim a few times at the beach. I overtook many vehicles and drove like a Greek asshole. Thank you Sweden for not letting me have a car. Instead i can be careful with my bike. No that was not irony.

I went to Foinikounda to see a friend and swim for 7 hours doing nothing at the beach. I look like a roasted chicken now. Oh one of his friends was an asshole. I told her that. If you find yourself in Greece or the Peloponnese check that place out, or Voidokoilia. You will remember it for a lifetime.

But it's not all bad. It's been fun and games. I actually thrive in these situations because they help me overcome my obstacles. I have been making a few friends lately. They live far away in space and time, but i will meet them.

One lives in Stockholm. Let's just call her Kelly for now. She is pretty emotional and can laugh for one second then cry in the next. Exactly like my grandma. I like her. She likes me too. I make her laugh and tell her sexual jokes about a goat named Stella. She's been through a lot like me, and i just want to take her under my wing and give her care and proderm.

No more tears.

She is probably going to be my first and best friend when i move here and i will care for her like she's my bloodline. But enough showering with compliments because she will call me a player "rollseyes". I am glad i met you.

I also met a finnish girl. We'll call her Jasmine. No she is not a pornstar. She has the softest blonde hair i have seen, sparkling blue eyes and cheekbones to die for. I promised her i will kidnap her for at least a week in Uppsala. She excites me.

I also have 2 more informational interviews in the works. One with a very warm woman i stumbled upon in EngineerGirl. She is a nuclear engineer. The other one is also in the water business. It will be fantastic and a great experience for anyone that reads it. Visit the website, it's fantastic and a great proof that women can be strong, intellectual and independent.

I also tried to interview a Norwegian man and he told me "I am interested, what's in for me?".

Suck cock.

I am packing my last stuff into two huge bags and buying anything useful. Like socks. Underwear. Umbrellas. A lamp. Thanks mom...

I also saw my house in google street view. It's nice. Classic little swedish house. With a nice garden and all. Thank you Francesca. I will buy you some pastelia when i get there.

That's it for now. I am going to make some pasta with 4 kinds of cheese and loads of creme du lait and just purr like a kitten on my bed watching some worthless greek television.

I will write a lote more frequently from next Saturday. And probably expect more pictures. A lot of them.

So Welcome in Greece. And welcome in Sweden too soon.

The Swedish Crayfish Attack

In August things are about to get messy in Sweden. We are talking about a 500 year old tradition that will make you drool if you like parties and remind you how it was when you left a birthday party when you were ten with birthday cake all over your face and clothes.

Does this ring any bells?

I am talking about the crayfish summer festival, a tradition so old in Sweden, that dates back to the 1500s. A delicacy saved for the aristocrats, the gobbling crayfish is still very popular and enjoyed by people of all classes. The imports of crayfish from other countries such as Turkey led to a price drop and made the Kräftskivor (crayfish parties) a more affordable tradition that marks the end of the summer. People gather to eat, drink, have a great time. I'm hoping to experience it soon enough.

That's a lot of crayfish.

There have been restrictions that prevent the overfishing of crayfish in Sweden, for a couple of months starting from August and while you can import them from another country the local crayfish of Sweden always wins.

The very few who have private access, of course, catch their own crayfish. The little creatures are night animals, so fishing has to be done after dark. They are caught in wire traps and the bait is often rotten or raw fish. Crayfish must be alive when placed in the saucepan of boiling liquor (source).

There is also a nice little song that goes with it, but i will not spoil the meaning:

Helan går
Sjung hopp faderallan lallan lej
Helan går
Sjung hopp faderallan lej
Och den som inte helan tar
Han heller inte halvan får
Helan går
Sjung hopp faderallan lej

Lastly, according to thelocal.se don’t start the party hungry. It takes about 5 minutes to dig out the eqivalent of about a meatball’s worth of meat.

So this was a short intro to the  Kräftskivor, one of the many interesting traditions of sweden. In two weeks i am going to experience it first hand, while i also plant to visit Turku in Finland and Copenhagen in Denmark. Bursting with excitement! So for now take care, see you soon Uppsala!

UPDATE: Well, according to an anonymous user with apparent experience in crayfish parties..."Hey man you got the *don't come start hungry" part wrong, you're supposed to get there hungry, that way you'll get more drunk, and you will be eating for hours, You will get fed eventually ;) + there is often more food at the table than only the crayfishes :)"

So, go out there and have fun your way! Get those bellies full of beer and tiny little crayfish meatballs! Thank you stranger!

Rock-Paper-Fossils? An informational interview with a professional hydrogeologist!

Somewhere out there, in the vast, nothingness of space,

Somewhere far away in space, and time,

Staring upward at the gleaming stars and the obsidian sky,

We're marooned on a small island, in an endless sea,

Confined to a tiny spit of sand, unable to escape.

But tonight,

On this blog,

On Earth,

We're going to rock civilization...

Speaking about rocks, i am deeply sorry for the hiatus of posts, but i was preparing something special. It's my first informational interview, from a woman that has so much knowledge about water, ground and fluid mechanics. I wish i can achieve half of her achievements. A warm welcome to Sandie Will. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to absorb some of your wisdom and the chance to share an insight about the daily life and challenges of a geo/hydrogeologist to aspiring students.

Greetings Sandie, please give us a short introduction about yourself!

Hello young geologists in the making! 

I am currently the Geohydrologic Data Manager within the Data Collection Bureau for the Southwest Florida Water Management District in the United States. This is one of five state agencies in Florida and the agency is responsible for flood protection, water supply, water quality, and protecting the environment. The Geohydrologic Data Section is primarily responsible for collecting lithostratigraphic and hydrostratigraphic data through coring and testing to 3,000 feet below land surface, well installations/abandonments/repairs and aquifer testing. I have a staff of 15 that includes Professional Geologists, hydrogeologists, supervisors, drillers, and technicians. All of our work is available to the public in reports on our website at http://www.swfwmd.state.fl.us/data/geohydrologic/

I received a Bachelor of Science in Geology from the University of South Florida in 1997 and a Master of Science in Environmental Engineering Sciences from the University of Florida in 2010 with a specialization in water resource planning and management. I am also a licensed Professional Geologist in the State of Florida. Prior to my work at the District, I was employed by environmental engineering firms in the private industry as a hydrogeologist for 10 years. My work was in environmental consulting where I performed various contamination and wellfield assessments. Most of my work included overseeing drilling; collecting soil, sediment, surface water and groundwater samples; performing aquifer testing; describing lithologic samples; designing wells; analyzing data; preparing reports; and presenting the results to the client. 




I have been married for 27 years and have two boys who are 21 and 23 years old. I have two webpages including www.rockheadsciences.com where I share stories about my career and travel and a blog series called, “A Day in the Life” where geologists from all over the world share information about their careers and advice for students. My other website is www.sandiewill.com where I have an author page. This includes a blog with short stories and Twitter tips and information on my novels. Recently, a publisher has accepted one of my novels, a young adult thriller, so it will be published in a year or two. I am very excited about that!




I am also a novice writer, though i write short stories myself. I totally understand your passion and excitement! So Sandie, what actually made you pursue a career in geology/hydrogeology?



Prior to geology, I worked in the medical industry for about 12 years and reached maximum potential for salary increases at the doctor’s office where I worked. So, I decided to go back to college at the age of 30 and pursue an accounting degree. For this degree, I had to take a physical science class in junior college, and there was something about it that intrigued me. I only lasted one week in the accounting program at the university level before I ran over to the science building to talk to a counselor, and a year later I declared geology as my major. This was the best career decision I ever made. Currently, my pay is more than four times what I was making at the doctor’s office.




This sounds like a great reward for your efforts! Hydrogeology actually sounds really exciting, what is the most interesting part of your job you think? Also what is the hardest aspect of it?



The most interesting part of my job is reading the reports when the geologist is finished with it, especially the findings in the cores and identifying different aquifers and confining units. Our lithology is primarily sand, clay, chert, limestone, dolostone and evaporites. There are numerous fossils from ancient shallow seas including corals, foraminifera, echinoids, gastropods, mollusks and sharks teeth in the cores too. It is amazing to me that the drillers can retrieve cores to 3,000 feet below land surface with rocks dating back to late Paleocene about 56-59 million years old. These are not drill cuttings - they are full cores! So, it helps with giving the geologists an idea of the formation characteristics. We have several aquifers in our region including the surficial, Hawthorn, Upper Floridan and Lower Floridan aquifers and differentiating them requires a combination of numerous data including water levels, water quality, aquifer testing (i.e. hydraulic conductivity), rock identification, key fossils and discharge rates. The hardest part of my job is having to tell someone they are not doing a good job. As a manager, I have to make difficult decisions sometimes about how an employee is performing. 




Shark teeth and fossils dating back 60 million years, wow! Having to make the tough calls as a manager must be indeed the hardest thing, but leadership and decision making makes a great leader and a successful project. What about your early life, did you ever dream of achieving such heights? Leading a group of 15 people, having a great position, a rewarding salary, as well as teaching and nurturing young talented people.



Honestly, no. When I was young I was told I was only average by some teachers, and so I thought I’d never be able to handle difficult classes. Boy, did I prove them wrong! I passed calculus, physics, chemistry, etc. with no problems. It wasn’t until I was older that I had the self confidence to go back and take those types of classes. Now, I feel I want to give back. I have a passion for helping students, because I think with encouragement, there are many who would do well in sciences. So, many times we are told we “can’t” do things, but isn’t it refreshing to hear from someone who says you “can”?




Read this first line carefully please. Being told you are average means nothing, if you have the passion, the dedication and a plan, you can achieve anything. Someone once said that a fool with a plan can do better than a genius without a plan. What you believe, you CAN do. Since we started talking about the mental qualities and traits, can you please share with us the 3 most important qualities a young aspiring hydrogeoloist should have to boost his professional career?



Most important is great communication skills, whether its verbal or in writing. A hydrogeologist will be required to do presentations and write reports, and a person will move up farther and more quickly if they have strong skills in this area. Second would be to have a positive attitude and be open to learning from mentors. Everyone likes to work with cooperative people and the value of learning from mentors is priceless, because their experience will help you learn more. Third would be to get in the field during the early years. Field experience is extremely important and will help you later on as you move into more senior roles. Be proactive about researching and learning all different types of field work and then find your specialty. 





What mental attributes do you need to succeed as a hydrogeologist? It looks like a physically demanding job sometimes, but one that can also offer loads of excitement. 





A hydrogeologist needs to be able to handle extreme outside conditions such as thunderstorms, heat, cold, and various critters such as spiders, snakes, etc. Hours are long and many times you may have to work alone in remote or industrial areas. Also, he or she must be able to handle stress and make quick decisions sometimes. On the other hand, it can provide you with experiences you would never have otherwise, such as the time I saw a shuttle liftoff at NASA, and met the pilots and saw the inside of a Black Hawk helicopter just because I working at the sites. 



So would you suggest this career path to others?



Definitely! It is a challenging and interesting career that is different every day. It is also rewarding because you feel like your are making a difference for future generations.




So you got your degree after all those hard working years in college. How easy is it to get a job if you are highly specialized, like in this field of work? Also is the salary adequate/rewarding for your efforts? 




I would say it is difficult to find a job at first if you have no experience, but it’s not impossible. Just keep going on interviews. While in school, try to get as much field experience as possible through field trips and internships. Make sure your resume is professional and includes all of the field experience and any modeling or other software experience. The salary is well worth the effort, and hydrogeology is very rewarding. To make additional pay, it is a good idea to get a professional licensure and Master’s for private industry or government work. Of course, for academia, a PhD is the best way to go.




I am in the process of deciding about academia, but the sheer excitement of the field makes me lean towards the private industry. However, i see many people with no vision or goals, what is your suggestion to them? Shouldn't you have pathos, desire and hunger to make the world a better place, chase your dreams and make the difference?



I think it depends on the person’s situation. Sometimes there are extenuating reasons for this. However, if it’s someone who needs inspiration, my advice would be to find a role model, hang around positive, proactive people, have confidence in yourself, leave fears behind, write down short and long-term goals and meet them, be open to change, and allow yourself to succeed. If you’ve had negative influences in your life, prove them wrong. I did. 



Damn right you did. I hope anyone who reads this proves his/her doubters equally wrong. Lastly, a bonus question. Do you have any suggestions to make our university more water/Eco friendly?



Educate all students and faculty on water conservation and protection. A great way to do this is to have them teach it to elementary school children. It’s amazing how much more they know about this than adults! Use rain barrels to collect water for irrigation, as well as drip irrigation equipment, rather than spray types. Low flow toilets and automated shutoff faucets in the bathrooms also help. Use reclaimed water for irrigation rather than potable water. Stick to native plants that don’t require intense amounts of water and be careful with herbicides that can contaminate water ways and springs. From what I understand, Sweden is way more progressive in this area than the United States. I’m sure those in Sweden could teach me way more about this subject than the other way around!




Thank you very much Sandie! It was an amazing experience and i learned so much from you! I am sure our readers too! Any closing words to wrap up this wonderful interview?




Being a hydrogeologist is an important and rewarding career that will allow you to make a difference in society by helping to ensure future water supplies are sustainable and protected. Shortages in water supplies are eminent in the future for many areas around the world, and the hydrogeologists of tomorrow will be called upon to meet this challenge. Remember to always think long-term, rather than just the years you will be working. The affects of what we do today, may not be seen until way after retirement! Have fun, never stop learning and most of all, share your knowledge with the next generation.



Kostas Mandilaris, MSc. in Earth Sciences.







This concludes my first informational interview! For more info, please by all means read Sandie's wonderful blog and article series, A day in the life, it is well worth reading. Wish her luck and success in her future endeavors, as well as her new novel in the making!



What amazed me and made me feel happy, is that she accepted with great joy and pleasure to give answers to an interview, to a person she didn't know before, from the other side of the planet. So for one more time, thank you Sandie Will!



Stay tuned, i will hope to do more interviews like this!

Wine and dine Mr. Freeman. Wine and dine...

Friday, 4 July 2014 - 12:30

 

Just another day at work.

Woke up with a headache at 5 am as usual, packed my bag because tomorrow I had my first exams for the diploma in Russian. God it was hot today, even more in the truck where there is no a/C. Argued some more with my father and some angry customers, sold our overpriced products and started the trip to tripoli to load up with new merchandise. Took a few photos on the way. Mostly stores I service and a couple from the local countryside. In a few hours I begin my trip to Athens. My destiny is always in a bus or truck it seems!

Friday, 4 July 2014 - 12:35

 

What i do for a living until Sweden calls.

Imagine the chaos with 500 similar products. But hey, I'm the best!

Friday, 4 July 2014 - 12:35

 

Just a local supermarket i service.

My friend Vassilis cutting slices of cheese. Dream life huh?

Friday, 4 July 2014 - 14:07

 

Inside my truck. It's pretty empty right now.

Lucky me!

Having to load all these in the truck is pretty time consuming every time. This is how the loading centre of FAGE dairy products in tripoli looks like. Every three days I drive there to receive new merchandise and restock. Had some friendly banter with the supervisor and the employees and I was on my way to the bus station.

 

Friday, 4 July 2014 - 14:57

 

Tripoli's bus station.

Crowdy as usual. This is becoming overly familiar for me as I have to travel to Athens time and again. Sort of drains my energy plus I forgot my headphones today which sucks. Waiting to see who will sit next to me and keep me company this time. Hopefully he/she
does not suck!

Friday, 4 July 2014 - 18:32

 

Finally at the metro station.

 Tourists everywhere!

You would not over-exaggerate if you called Athens the sea of concrete.

Saturday, 5 July 2014 - 14:23

 

Русские экзамены.

In hotel Amalia for my russian exams we met father George and his russian teacher as well as the girl from Kws island. She is a flight attendant and hopes to fly to Saint-Petersburg. Father George is a cleric at Errikos Dinan and a confessions expert. And a really good guy, he even invited me to go clubbing with him!

 

Saturday, 5 July 2014 - 16:27

Aggeliki trying her 538th shoe.

After finishing the russian exams my friends took me to buy shoes somewhere in the streets of Ermou downtown. They bought like 2 shoes each and pairs of earrings. Eventually they wore them later I'm the night club. Man what a tiresome day, from 9:30 am till 6pm non stop russian.

 

Woah Carrie Bradshaw, slow down..

Saturday, 5 July 2014 - 19:30

 

Now this is what i call a meat variety.

Then we went at mikrolimano near Peiraias at the Karaiskakis stadium in a tavern called Vosporos. Now that's what I call a meat and poultry variety. Katerina's friend Antonis who is a policeman picked us up in his trusty skoda Fabia. He is a really cool guy we had incredible fun later that night with the others. He also brought Sofia, a cheeky fiery young lady with a very interesting personality that I fancied a lot. I wish I had a picture because she is really cute.

 

Katerina in a spontaneous pose.

The view from our table.

So this is what i have been up to from my latest post. It's been all fun and games and now that my russian classes are finished i can finally relax a bit more. Oh wait i cannot. I work 15 hours a day ;) Take care!

 

Transformers: Age of Extinction (review)

I was out the exact moment the credits started rolling. Almost running. After X-Men, which was frankly the worst movie i have seen this year, along came the most stupid one. Like incredibly stupid. Oh yes, it will make a billion $ probably as usual. It's mind-boggling. But it was funny in some ways too.
Of course, i am talking about the latest entry in the Transformers saga by master Michael Bay. Did i mention this is 165 minutes long?

At least i took a cool photo!

I am not sure what is worse. The shittiest director in history? The worst supporting female actress ever? The destruction of a childhood dream of mine about a good Transformers movie that had the fearsome Dinobots? Oh, i think i do. It's the fact that this movie is the first chapter in a new trilogy of slow-motion explosion filled franchise. And that i am not sure if it worse than Revenge of the Fallen.

Soooo, ladies and gentlemen. This is another of my favorable reviews, full of sarcasm, personal opinion, anger and laughter. Let's get to it!

Where to start? Jesus. The plot seems written by a 10 year old that anytime he was stuck he just used his imagination to escape. Inconsistent, weird plot full of holes and questions, stupidity, bad acting, sexism, patriotism, explosions, slow-motion, explosions, slow-motion, explo....you get the idea.

POTENTIAL SPOILERS AHEAD

So the movie begins in the era of the dinosaurs, around 65 million years ago. They are happily living and chewing other creatures when giant space ships drop bombs and vaporize them. Fast forward to the present age and we have a cute blonde scientist as it is custom in a Bay movie. Who did you expect? Jocelyn Wildenstein? She arrives in the arctic to look at some strange finding that turns out to be a metallic dinosaur frozen in the ice. This sets up the plot for the bad guys to take over.

Then we get a glimpse of the bad guys and Lockdown, who are hunting down every Autobot and Decepticon for their evil scheme. They also kill a particular likeable green Autobot, which is sad and has the required 15 second slow-motions every other second.

Now we are in Texas. Texas in the United States of America, not another place huh? Get it? Or should i use more american flags next time? This movie should be rated RPG (Really Patriotic Garbage).

They were everywhere.

Like seriously, everywhere. Reminds me of Jack Howitzer from the Grand Theft Auto series.

"I'm an american, and you are not, so f@%king dieeee!"

Taking this in consideration it is funny how the main character, Cade Yeager (played by Mark Walhberg) is more concerned about his teenage 17-year old daughter not dating boys and protecting her virginity rather than protecting the land from alien robots.

So the location now is Texas, where an ambitious but utterly unsuccessful inventor meets up with a surfer annoying dude called Lucas (i think?) that helps him buy junk from an old theater. The sexism is clear as two pretty hot ladies pass by the road and Lucas says some fine lines to them. Also, in the theater there is a quote about loads of unneeded sequels. "Cough" tranformers, "cough" michael bay.

Here is where it becomes interesting. Inside the theater there is an old beaten, totaled old truck. That happens to be Optimus Prime for those of you who are slow. He finds rocket shells inside and buys the truck for 150$. He takes it back to his barn, his daughter shows up in the smallest jean shorts ever created, lectures him for buying junk and fails to get financial aid for her college studies, since they are broke and about to be evicted.

Cade the inventor soon realizes that the truck is Optimus Prime and in the blink of an eye fixes him before the baddies can get there to threaten him and his daughter Tessa. This scene is so funny, because in all those films you get the feeling that if you ever encounter an FBI agent, he will look badass and don a massive overcoat, have sunglasses and a tough accent. Like the Matrix i guess. Idiotic. Michael Bay, you are an ignorant baboon.

What the...? He also sounds like he is the son of Darth Vader, huffing and puffing.

So James Savoy (Titus Welliver) plays the thug that comes to the farm to threaten the family to reveal Prime's location. Of course Prime comes to the rescue, as well as Tessa's boyfriend Shane (Nicola Peltz and some guy) in a racing car. He is irish but lived in Texas and is a race driver. Legit.

Fight ensues, Lockdown chases Prime, the thugs chase Yeager and the others, slow-mo and explosion, boom boom everywhere and it ends up in the incineration of Lucas (i challenge you to remember who that guy is) and them escaping to a gas station. Lockdown morphs into a sexy looking Lamborghini Huracan by the way.

Optimus gathers the remaining Autobots, takes the shape of an admitedly cool looking truck and they start to plan their revenge. They visit the bad guys, destroy the lab where they keep the "transformium", the material from which the robots are made and the plan is crystal clear. The bad CIA sadists want to make robots of their own to "protect and serve" the country.

Then they move to China, for obvious marketing reasons, Prime gets captured by Lockdown after we see Galvatron into action, who is Megatron in disguise after he infected the prototype with his head (.........). The others free him, Galvatron is loose trying to get his hands on the seed, a bomb that can lay waste to an entire city and turn them into transformium.

Optimus releases the Dinobots, beats down Grimlock easily, rides him and the last explosion slow-mo battle begins. In the end the good guys win, Prime flies into space and the Dino's run happily into the horizon.

They look pretty nice at least.

That's it. I can't give more spoilers otherwise it would take me 30 pages to write everything.

 Age of Extinction is a barrage of nonsence, non-ethical decisions, sexism, patriotism and noise. You don't care who wins, you just want it to end. I did enjoy some of the fights but a 3 hour movie on 3D glasses is not the idea experience. God help us all, for there are at least 2 more movies coming.

The movie is not as aggressively idiotic as Revenge of the Fallen, but has it's own flaws.

How about the acting and the casting?

I don't like Mark Walhberg much. He had some nice films, but i lost respect after The Happening. Really? An inventor? He should stick to shooting things and playing with Ted. It's like asking Keanu Reaves to have an expression! Not only that, he suddenly turns into an action hero, a master marksman and a great martial artist as he pushes the leading thug into his doom. A man with no experience defeating in hand-to-hand combat a veteran assassin. Plausible.

Now my favorite part about Bay movies. Girls in only tank tops and short skirts or shorts. This talentless little actress Nicola Peltz is getting on my nerves. She is worse than Dark of the Moon's blondie, whom i forgot her name. Her boyfriend pulls out a "Romeo and Juliet" Texan law that is actually pretty funny. A guy walking with a free-from-jail rape card like in Monopoly. The role she has to play does not help either. Stick to modeling please. I was so infuriated by her that i did this today:

Leniency at it's best.

Her boyfriend is the same as the bad-turned good leader of the science company that makes the custom transformers except from the fact that he is muscular. He is your average bad acting Twilight chump but they take their characters to another level. They scream in agony like sissy girls and they probably like to do the chacha like in Bruce Almighty.

The acting is despiriting, the movie draining, the script boring and generic. There are loads of action scenes that are enjoyable but fairly predictable, while you get the feeling you have seen them in the previous movies. The thing that annoyed me the most was the over-usage of slow-mo. It was literally everywhere.

Then there is the commercialism and marketing. Patriotism, Chevrolet's, very expensive cars, a try to rebirth the Camaro and my favorite, that takes commercials in movies to another level. They destroy a truck that has some Bud Light, then Walhberg opens it and drinks. Nice.

See how i haven't talked yet about the robots? There is not much to tell. The first movie was likeable because there was a connection, a bond between a nerdie boy and an alien car. Now there is none, there is only revenge. Optimus is a man on a mission and he just commands the others. There is no connection and you do not care what happens to them. Galvatron is absent. Lockdown has a couple of nice scenes. But that's it.

I m summing up because i m tired and i have russian class.

Plot: 3/10

Acting: 1/10

Sound: 10/10

Visuals: 10/10

Fight Choreography: 7/10

Overall: 3/10

Avoid this movie like a plague. See it at home when you have 3 hours of insomnia. If you want to see a movie with tons of explosions, jailbait buttshots, hot women, bad script and marketing, be my guest. All you will get is a threat of a sequel and a massive headache.