Love passes with love

It has been a while, hasn't it?

How we deal with disappointments is what decides the person we are. And I have had my fair share of disappointments.

In May 30th 2017, exactly a year after I left the dearest person to me at the time back in Finland, I decided to change my life forever. I stood in front of the mirror, took a hard, cold look at myself and decided that it was enough. I looked me in the eyes and said out loud:

"Take a good look at yourself. Today it is the last time that you see this person in front of you. Take a good look, because this person is going to disappear and from tomorrow you are going to build a better version of yourself, the best version of yourself".

And it began. I cut alcohol, sugary drinks, candy, pizza and every unhealthy lifestyle choice that I was used to overnight. I set it as a goal to speak fluent Swedish by the end of the year, get my six pack, make friends and find a job. A true american dream. I woke up in the morning with an old coat for a pillow and  the earth was last night's bed.

Per Angusta Ad Augusta

Something strange but also familiar happened over the first few months. I saw my body change and I was one more sadistically enjoying the pummeling of my face and body in the boxing class with the veterans. Carpe fucking diem. But above everything, I grew in confidence. I could see it in my posture, I had better grip over my mind and body and the nightmares about the girl with the yellow dress lessened instead of standing frozen in time and space.

My little baby project, the SIWI Sofa.

With confidence came friends and progression. I met two wonderful women, Lauma and Hayriye and more recently Lila and my Swedish improved exponentially. Down went the weight, and down went the burden on my shoulders. I received a call from the Swedish International Water Institute, where they wanted me of all people, to take charge and make an event that was launched for the first time ever a success. You bet I delivered. Here is a picture of my creation on the right.

Then my contract ended and I gave myself one month to find a job. Not because I wanted to, but because I had to and time and money were running out. And boy I delivered.

I finally got an interview with a big international company in Stockholm. I felt it was do or die. I walked in the office and I had a great interview in Swedish. The boss told me that he wanted me to meet the head of operations next week and so did we. The interview was in english and it was the best one I have ever given. The last time I felt such certainty was after a long exhausting exam to obtain the Certificate Proficiency in English 15 years ago. I knew I nailed it.

A week passes, walking under a bridge in Skanstull and I get the job. Boom, you are starting November 1.

My life changed overnight. No more worries about food, rent or survival. I shaved my head, changed my clothes, kept going to the gym 7 days a week. My friends call me boring, but I am in the best shape of my life. I started at 77 kilos and today I was 67,5. Now, I am not the guy to post half naked pictures like I am staring in Twilight but I am proud of myself.

Last week I was in Paris for training with work, in a seminar about safety and hazardous materials and chemicals. It was a long and exhausting but wonderful experience with a great bunch of people from Spain, Belgium, Germany and France.

The problem was...Paris. Paris...how can you put it...Paris was like a rude beautiful woman. Lovely and mystical but when she opened her mouth you wondered in shock and awe. From the rats, to the ridiculous, expensive and terrible metro, to the smell of piss and dirty streets of a modern metropolis, to the terrible architecture in some points, to amazing breathtaking views in other places, it left me craving my home. A home that lies in Stockholm.

Eduardo was one of the guys from Spain. He was a tall super nice and funny guy that likes to run and works as a hydrogeologist. He often laughed at my jokes, especially when I squeezed that lemon accidentally in Paolo's eye. Paolo was Italian/Spanish, living and working in Madrid and having a second life with a Pirate metal band. Yarr. He seemed unable to control his laughter when I said the words "Crystal Meth" which was an incident in the Eiffel Tower. If you want to follow and support his band the link is here. Lovely. Jorn was the teacher and he is the most laid back, funny and great person I have met in such a position yet. He told us a lot of great stories and some of them involve him sleeping in the office and drinking something weird called dragonball.

Other than that...well life goes on and I am growing in confidence in my position every day that passes, both with the language and skills. I am planning a little escape in January to Iceland with a little aurora, to see a little aurora. Mystery is my middle name. Fais mois rever encore une fois.

This is the end. And a new beginning. Why you ask? Because one cycle just closed and a new chapter began. A nightingale sings his song of farewell, the winter is coming. Your heart turns to stone and you are longing for warmth. But then again, what is love without lust?

Goodnight Sweden.

PS. There are a couple of song references, can you find them?

Satire and Terrorism

I find pretty entertaining how people discover my blog. Let me share some words that people searched for in google and ended up in this weird place.

"picture of a kid with birthday cake all over his face"

"farted on by 4 girls little sister xbox panties lift up nose"

"lingerie uppsala"

"the blonde scientist on transformers movie"

"broken tooth handsome"

"sexy and i noset"

"uppsala not so fun"

Title says it all.

Especially the second one, dude what were you thinking?

Moving on, i just woke up 2 hours ago at 23:30. I slept from 12 pm since i came back from university. On a Saturday. Why you ask? Because i had to write an exam for a class i failed last semester. And it went rather good. It was pretty amusing though. Why? You are about to find out.

My sleep cycle is a complete mess and i spent last night studying until 6 am. I wrote an article and i defrosted my chicken to eat it today, but it got devoured by my Alzheimer's infused landlord. Around 7 i started feeling tired again but i harnessed all the energy i could muster and picked up the bus to school. When i got there it was like a zombie apocalypse since it was Saturday. Nobody was there but 5 people that retook this exam too.

We chatted around for 20 minutes as the professor was still jet-lagged from flying to Canada. Then the exam started and i realized i had to go to the bathroom and later get some water. Illidan Stormrage whispered in my ear "You are not prepared!".

So i ask for permission the professor who looked like he was playing minecraft or something on his laptop and i go to the bathroom. Which was a 2 minute walk from the small class we were at. Then i thought, hey nobody is here, if someone wanted they could have simply have their phone in their pocket and cheat as much as they want. I guess it shows how much Swedes believe in the system and that people will behave correctly.

I finish up my exam by 11:00 am and i head to the bus stop. I enter the bus Nr7 and the driver, who was black turns around and tells me with the warmest smile i have ever seen happy new year in Swedish. I unleash my swedish skills and tell him "Jag talar lite svenska" (i speak little swedish).

He smiles again and asks me where am i from. "Jag kommer fran Grekland", i reply. Then he does the unthinkable and tells me "Ελλάδα? Πολύ ωραία!", which means: Greece? Very nice!

I am very surprised and ask him how does he know greek. We have a nice conversation and i tell him i am going to write about meeting him and how he is the best and friendliest driver, let alone person i have met so far in Sweden. His name was Omos and he was from Tanzania married to a swedish wife. What a good man and a joy to meet him.

I have been looking at the events in France these days and the subsequent riots and civil war that we all hope never starts. First some quick recap to what has happened.

Charlie Hebdo was a satirical magazine in France that pretty much used satire in any topic. And they have had a history with Muslims before. It is well known that publishing pictures of Mohammed, let alone pictures that depict him in a satirical way cause extreme hate and retaliation in extremists and fanatics. And we are not talking just about Muslims here. It is one of the reasons i don't watch much football anymore.

That magazine was no stranger to attacks and proofs of hate. Back in 2011 their headquarters were bombed after another satirical depiction of Mohammed. I really think they went a step too far with their last cover. Freedom of speech is great and should be preserved, but they should (and probably had) have expected the backlashes, maybe just not in such a brutal degree. I know that these people died supporting their beliefs but i would be so scared if my family was involved there and the consequences that it might have had.

So a few days ago, on January 7th masked gunmen entered the offices of Charlie Hebdo and shot in cold blood the 4 chief editors and cartoonists with AK-47's and many other people. I saw some of the pictures in the offices, it was an absolute massacre. It was revolting and i cannot imagine being there. This has led to three days of terror in France that have supposedly ended now that that terrorists are dead, however the fear for retaliation is high amongst the ranks of the people.

Said and Cherif Kouachi stormed the building in Paris around 11:20 am. In total these "brave" men armed with fully automatic rifles killed 8 journalists, a caretaker, a bodyguard and a poor unlucky visitor. The terrorists were brothers of French-Algerian descent. Storming out of the building they retreated to a black Citroen car but were quickly blocked by the police. Shooting ensued and there are frightening videos all over youtube.

Then the moment that infuriated everyone even more happened. The terrorists walked towards an injured police officer that was pleading for his life. Ahmed Merabet was just 42, patrolling the area by sheer luck. He was shot in cold blood, point blank range. His brother explained that he was also a Muslim. He also said "Do not mix Muslims with extremists". This applies, and should apply to everything. We humans tend to judge something based on extreme facts and associate everyone related in any way to them. We classify Muslims as terrorists, Christians as the holy saviors and we end up killing each other for the sake of God, or whatever his name is. And that is sad my friends.

The brothers steal a car and flee to north Paris. A manhunt ensues. There is an ongoing huge investigation with many raids on potential contacts and houses to uncover clues about their identity, cause and plans.

On Thursday morning they take over a refuel/service station in Villers-Cotteret. Thousands of police officers and special forces comb the area to find their location. Meanwhile, another police officer, a woman this time was shot in Paris. The manhunt leads the police to the forest of Retz, a massive area the size of Paris. During the night the Eiffel Tower is switched off in memory of the victims.

Friday arrives. The brothers hijack a third car and a highway chase takes place with a lot of shooting. Then they enter a printing works in an industrial area close to the Charles de Gaulle airport. Reports say that they have at least one hostage. Riot is on the way. A third gunman takes over a jewish supermarket in Paris. He has five hostages. He ends up killing two people in the subsequent shootings. The police identify the black gunman. Amedy Coulibaly, 32. They link him to the murder of the female police officer.

He demands that the police stop chasing the Kouachi brothers or he will kill all the 5 hostages. On the same time the brothers tell the negotiators that they want to "die as martyrs". A police operation is on it's way. Explosions, gunfire and terror take over the skies. More explosions follow shortly after in a grocery store in Paris. It turns out that the police operation in the printing works was successful and the terrorists are killed. The situation is not good in Paris though. Coulibaly has been shot dead, but 4 of the hostages also die in the process. This marked the end of the bloodiest three days in French history for a long time.

Since then more details have emerged. There have been ties to Al-Qaeda and other extremist islamic groups. Retaliation of the french people has ensued with multiple attacks in muslim shops. There is a smell of riot and civil war. My french friend was terrified and was happy to be back in Sweden.

The bravery of these armed men is staggering, confronting and killing innocent civilians at best armed with pens and pencils. Bravo. It's all about God and Allah right? Because that's what he would want, to kill each other in a power struggle or to defend ones believes. But since we are fucking primeapes, instead of dialogue we prefer violence and death. We humans are like a plague. We destroy and everything we touch slowly withers.

If i learned one thing in the army, it was that you maybe have 20 people in a room that need to follow orders. 19 people do everything correctly. 1 decides to rebel. Then the whole group is punished for his stupidity. It is supposed to be for the common good and exemplification, however it is done more out of spite and revenge. There will always be one rebel. There will always be one asshole that no matter what will try to make the people kneel. And innocent people will pay the price. Then it leaves a stigma on his people. Germans are Nazi's, Americans invade countries and bomb everything, Africans are primitive savage people.

Which also reminds me another thing. No matter how terrible the events in France were, have you ever given it some thought what happens for example in Africa? Boko Haram fighters in Nigeria killed more than a hundred people in cold blood. They have killed, brace yourselves, a staggering 12000 people in that country through raids and pillaging. Did you see that in the news? No, because the events in France were done in the "civilized" world. Civilized my ass.

What about the actual satire though? Was the shooting justified? I do think they went over the top. I remember being a target for abuse and satire when i was a kid and i could not take it, i was a ticking bomb ready to explode. When these people touched a sensitive topic such as religion there would be a backlash. It is very easy to buy a gun these days and go on a massacre. But it takes a lot of courage and a little dose of stupidity to publish these cartoons, stand firm over your choice, not back down and die for your beliefs. Because if they backed down after, it would be like a second death to them and the freedom of speech.

So today let's remember:
Stéphane Charbonnier, Jean Cabut, Georges Wolinski and Bernard Verlhac

Editors of the Charlie Hebdo Magazine and let's pray the situation in France improves. Because bombing a kebab shop because it is owned by a muslim is not better than how those extremists replied to the magazine's satire.

Peace out, goodnight Sweden.

Take the finger extremists.